Its On Like Donkey Kong

Champions for the FL Breaker League will be determined tonight after the playoff tournament was rain shortened on Saturday.

We were having a fantastic tournament with plenty of twists and turns until a monsoon decided to hit. The skies were looking angrier and angrier and the wind was picking up. Just as the semi-final games were getting started we saw some lightning and a gust of wind came that dropped the temperature about 20 degrees. It was amazing to see everyone break down their tents and vacate the field as quickly as they did. Well, except for Suck My Kick who decided to take the opportunity to play duck-duck-goose in the rain.

So tonight we will reconvene at the PAL fields for the final 4 matchup. Seminoles vs Suck My Kick and Barbara Ballters vs Booze on First.

Do you miss Donkey Kong? Wish you could play it again? Check this out.

Who will win the FL Breaker Spring 2011 Championship?

Week 6 Recap

Week 6 wasn't quite as spooky as one might expect, being that it was the last week of games before Halloween but there was a bit of strange happenings going on. Only one team did the same thing this week as they did last week. Lets dive a little deeper.

Our first game on field 1 had Baller I Hardly Know Her locking horns with the Seminoles. Locking Horns is a rather arbitrary term as this one was really no contest. I asked the purple people eaters to comment on their loss after the game and their reply was, "We Sucked!". Josh said, "I didn't have anything bad to say, they beat us handily". Things are looking up for the Seminoles. They were able to crush an opponent with the opponent not having anything bad to say. That's what I call progress. Seminoles put a shellacking the purple team, 11-0.

Field 2 had Asstastic Balls taking on Multiple Scorgasm. Highly billed games rarely live up to the hype and this game between two of the best teams in the division seemed to live up to that pattern. Asstastic Balls must have forgotten that there was even a game this week because they were scrambling to get enough players there by the start of the game. I was told by one member of the pink team that this was due to complications with INS. Usually, Asstastic Balls has one good inning in the first and that was no different here as the Beast had a huge 2 run home run in the early frame. The scoring didn't stop there though as Asstastic Balls were able to put up lots of crooked numbers on the board. The Beast led the way the whole time on offense and defense. He made a great mutant like jump over a throw at home plate to score and at one point "don't kick it to the beast" was overheard on the Multiple Scorgasm sideline. Asstastic Balls won 9-4.

Balls and Dolls and Quit Yer Pitchin took to field 3 at 7pm for one of the best matchups this week. Gordon from Balls and Dolls got things rocking early when he kicked a 3 run home run but Jess wasn't paying much attention because she had stopped at second base and almost got run over before Gordon was able to yell at her enough that she started running. Good thing he didn't have to touch her to get her going but more on that later. Balls and Dolls took a 1 run lead into the bottom of the 5th until Adam from Quit Yer Pitchin (and apparently the Village People) scored the tying run. The 6th inning was filled with action. With runners on 1st and second and 2 outs, little devil Dorothy made a valiant diving effort to get to first safely but QYP's defense held strong. In the bottom half of the inning Courtney made her signature trip over first base and tumble move but to no avail. This one was finished at 7:48 so they had time for an extra inning but no excitement happened there. Tie 4-4.

It was appropriate that on Halloween theme night 99 Problems (orange) and Booze on First (black) faced off against each other. Let me tell you something about this Dexter led Booze on First team; they are the only team that hasn't won a game yet and are last in the standings but their defense is solid. Obviously, that means that their offense is a bit lacking. Note to QYP and Baller I Hardly Know Her; don't expect to score a lot of runs in your remaining game against the black team. This game took a 1-1 tie into an extra inning. 99 Problems scored in the top half but Booze on first mounted their own rally in the bottom half. On an overthrow play at home plate Booze on First had appeared to scored 2 runs to win the game, however the first base ref ruled that the second run that scored should have ended up at 3rd base due to the overthow because at the time the ball went out of play she had not yet crossed 2nd base. 99 Problems had their asses saved there by the Booze on First runner not hustling and a heads up referee. This one ended in a 2-2 tie.

Last but certainly not least was Masterbatters vs We've Got The Runs. I'm told there wasn't a lot of excitement in this game. We've Got The Runs once again had no runs. There was a green fairy in right field, making people hallucinate and a pink fairy prevented anyone from having breast cancer on the field. MacGruber was also on hand to make sure that no one exploded until the very end. I don't know what any of that really has to do with anything. Masterbatters won 2-0.

Week 6 Theme - Halloween

We've got one more week of play before Halloween so next week the theme will be just that. We should see plenty of ghosts and goblins and random sexiness. Teenage angst ridden vampires are not allowed but bayou vampires are.

Week 5 (but really week 6) Recap

Yesterday morning I woke up in Boston and it was 38 degrees. I was quite excited to hop on a plane and head back to Tampa for some exciting FL Breaker Division kickball action. Some teams looked a bit rusty after taking last week off. We even had a special guest this week. Some of you may have been asking, who was that guy with the cool WAKA kickball polo at the fields? Well that was MLoop. He is the manager for WAKA Kickball in Florida. He had heard that FL Breaker was the coolest bunch of people that WAKA had and he wanted to see it for himself. I think he was pretty impressed with what he saw.

Field 1, Game 1. This field and time slot for whatever reason has become 99 Problems home field and they took it once again in their matchup against Multiple Scorgasm. Both of these teams have championship potential and we may very well see a rematch in the playoffs. Multiple Scorgasm had the opening salvo with a run in the top of the first, countered by 2 runs by 99 Problems in the bottom half. The team in orange seemed to have 99 problems on defense in the top half of the second as they gave up a 5 spot. 99 Problems battled back hard thanks in part to some aggressive baserunning by Kacie aka Yellow Shoe but Ashley showed off her stunning defensive skills. Any ball up the middle was quickly gobbled up by Ashley, throwing a big "boo ya bitches" exclamation point 99 Problems way. The same defensive prowess could not be said of MS left fielder Kyle. In the bottom of the 6th "Miss Nevada" had 2 balls right in her face but spit them right to the ground. The come back just wasn't enough to overcome earlier defeceit. Multiple Scorgasm won 6-5.

Field 2 saw Booze on First take on the Seminoles. On paper, this should have been a blowout. The Seminoles came in with 3 wins 0 losses and a tie on the season, while Booze on First had 0 wins, 3 losses and a tie. Should be a no brainer, right? Wrong! This game ended in a tie and the Seminoles were not pleased but more on them later. Tie Game 1-1.

Asstastic Balls and Balls N Dolls matched up on field 3. Statistically speaking these 2 teams were pretty evenly matched. You have to consider though that Asstastic balls usually only has one really good inning, usually the first. Balls N Dolls were pretty motivated, considering that they were celebrating teammate Mike's birthday. Mattie B (the little Asian) may have had the play of the day. He was running the bases and charging towards third and decided to dive into third from about 10 feet away and somehow had enough momentum to make it to the base. Unfortunately, he was wearing a belt and all the sliding may have caused some damage. Rumor has it that there might have been some swelling later on that night which may or may not be related. Katie aka "Cliff Lee" looked pretty dominant on the mound. After the game was over, Balls N Dolls was pretty disappointed that their team cheer sucked compared to Asstastic Balls so Katie, Megan and Jessica channeled their inner cheerleaders and put Jess into a half (but no one could remember what it was a half of). Jess almost fell but Katie was able to save her. Balls N Dolls won 4-1.

The game between Masterbatters and Baller I Hardly Know Her had a guest ref. MLoop the Florida WAKA Manager took home plate ref. I didn't get a chance to see much of this game but I'm told that Josh pretty much sucked and couldn't do anything right, sorry Josh. After the game, Jessica from Masterbatters refused to give me a quote, I can't imagine why. Luckily another Masterbatter had some input to the game. "I like purple." Um... yeah, that's for that brilliant input. This game ended in a 3-3 tie.

Last but not least was We've Got The Runs vs Quit Yer Pitching. I don't know what to say about Quit Yer Pitchin this season. QYP has always sort of been a second tier team and they consistently go deep into the playoff but they tend to be terribly inconsistent in the regular season. We've Got the Runs tends to be consistently bad, especially in the getting runs department. Not this week. Heard from the light blue sidelines, "We've got the runs, someone call a doctor" Gross!. We've Got the Runs won 2-1.

Week 4 Recap

What an awesome week. We had some real excitement up and down the PAL Fields and I had a ton of people say interesting things that just have to make it to the blog this week. So here it is for your enjoyment.

At 7pm 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One took the field against Quit Yer Pitchin. This could maybe possibly be considered a rivalry game since whenever Quit Yer Pitchin plays whichever team Ty is on that season usually tends to be a good game but there isn't much continuity there. The big question for the night was whether Heide was going to be able to stay in her Pirate Wench costume. Heide suddenly realized during warmups that she may not have the support she needed to keep her boys in place. Luckily for her, they did. Perhaps unluckily for the rest of us. 99 Problems didn't have much problem scoring although they thought they should have had more. They thought they had identified a weakness in left field but were sorely mistaken as every ball kicked out there was easily hauled in. Down by 7 Runs in the last inning, QYP tried its best to mount a rally and Adam had a great play where he tagged up and scored from second base but it just wasn't enough. 99 Problems won 7-1.

Game 2 had Asstastic Balls vs We've Got The Runs. Despite the bright t-shirt colors which may be remeniscent of a Hawaiian shirt seen on Hawaii Five-0, I'm told this was actually a boring game. We've Got the Runs again had difficulty getting any. It was partially because of the outstanding defensive play of the beautiful Asstastic Balls girls. Keara made 3 catches of her own but the most impressive play came at the thighs of Angela. The ball was kicked to her and she bobbled it off of her fingertips to Kelly, who bobbled it off of her fingertips back to Angela who had ended up on the ground and she caught the ball between her legs in the fetal position. With all of the bobbling, Keara described the play as "a little bit of a handjob". Asstastic Balls won 3-0

The hot ticket game of the week had to be the showdown on field 3 between the Seminoles and Multiple Scorgasm. The Seminoles put up a quick 2 runs in the first inning but the Multiple Scorgasm defense was able to clamp down from there and eventually score 2 of their own. This game required an extra frame to settle and still ended up in a tie. The Seminoles did not look pleased as they walked off the field and there were no Seminole sightings at MacDinton's. The Seminoles' motto is win or go home so I guess they went home. What was the key to Multiple Scorgasms tough play? They claim is was Snuggie man who attending this game in his Zebra striped snuggie. He has been seen many times at the field in several different snuggies. Who knows how many he has or if it really helped but either way: Tie game 2-2.

Back to field 1, our late game had Baller I Hardly Know Her take on Balls and Dolls. This was a close contest. I jokingly said to Balls and Dolls team Captain, Jess that it looked like she had something on her ass (remember week 2?) and she replied, "If I do, I'm waiting until I get home to rub it off." That's what she said! Defense was mostly pretty solid in this one. I say mostly because there was one possible exception. The lovely Randi on Baller I Hardly Know Her had a pop fly kicked to her and had a rather unusual way of calling for the ball. "SHIIIIIIIT!". She clearly displayed great confidence in the field. With scoring coming at a premium in this game Angela showed some great baserunning aggression and was able to score from first base to bring home the game winning run. I asked Jessica how she felt about her team's loss this week. She claimed that she was proud of her team and that the little Asian had redeemed himself. She was clearly lying as I saw said little Asian make a couple of really bad plays so she's probably lying about being proud of her team too. Baller I Hardly Know Her player, Rabi Joel, had some interesting things to say about his triumphant return to kickball this season after a 2 season hiatus. He says that he returned to kickball because he found Yuengling in a can, making it possible to drink his favorite beer on the fields without bringing glass bottles which are definitely not allowed. Baller I Hardly Know her won 2-1.

Last but not least was an extremely exciting game between Masterbatters and Booze on First. This game had lots of great blog material. In the middle of the game, Booze on First Superstar, Rob had a great kick and was wheeling around the bases as fast as he could. So fast in fact that he missed second base and made it all the way to third before hearing people yell that he missed second. He ran back to second base then made it back to third before the Masterbatters could get him. He scored on the next play.

I had asked this beautiful young lady to the right, Jessica, if I could take a picture of her in her Pirate Hooker costume for the blog. Her reply was that I could but only if that meant that guys would masturbate to it. So... well... guys... have at it I guess. Make sure to tell Jessica what you did while looking at her photo next week at kickball. I'm sure that won't be awkward at all. She told me that she has been playing for 2 seasons and has never made it to first base. The next time she was up she got to first base safely, though it was short lived as her teammate was later thrown out at home plate on the play, trying to sneak in an extra base. Jessica immediately ran to her phone to text all of her friends that she had made it to first base safely. In the bottom of the 6th inning Booze on First had a 1 run lead but Masterbatters were able to get some runners on. On the last play of the game the Masterbatters scored 2 runs to clinch it. Justin scored the winning run of the game and immediately started mauling his teammates in an extremely enthusiastic celebratory display that possibly could have put the lives of his teammates in jeopardy. The team chant at the end of the game summed it all up, "Masterbatters come from behind!". Masterbatters won 2-1.