Don't Touch My Balls Gets Support From Dictator

Pyongyang, North Korea - North Korean Dictator, Kim Jong Il declared to the world today that Don't Touch My Balls are his favorite kickball team in the world. The dictator is known to be a large fan of the NBA but this is the first time he has been identified as a fan of WAKA's FL Breaker division.

"Don't Touch My Balls is the favorite team of our peerless legendary leader, Kim Jong Il," stated Kim Ok, the dictator's mistress and personal secretary. "On Tuesday nights, after our great peerless leader gets done watching his favorite Elizabeth Taylor movies, he likes to turn on ESPN 8 'The Ocho' to watch Don't Touch My Balls brutally punish their opponents."

"It really should come as no surprise." said Dr. Iman S. Hole, President of the Institute for Spreading Illwill. "Really they exemplify everything that Kim Jong Il loves. The dictator spends about $700,000 a year on Hennessy Cognac when his people only make an average of $900 per year so you might think that they got the nod for being able to drink a lot but that didn't really narrow things down in kickball. What appealed to Kim Jong Il was the the anti-social behavior of Don't Touch My Balls."

Reports say that it was a tough decision as he was quite upset when he learned the team doesn't read the division blog. Kim Jong Il considers himself to be an internet expert and is reported to read the blog daily. What may have helped is Don't Touch My Balls love of bunting as kicking away of any kind in North Korea is a crime punishable by death due to the fact that the leader can't kick the ball more than 3 feet but still wants to be known as the greatest kickballer in all of North Korea.

News of the declaration outraged Seminole's Captain, Dale, "Dude, that's Bullshit! The Seminoles can be just as anti-social as Don't Touch My Balls! Look at MacDinton's after the games. There are usually only like 2 of us there. Four at most. Besides, we bunt all the time too. In fact we aren't even capable of kicking away. I'm a winner damn it! A winner!" The news comes as quite a blow to Dale as he had been lobbying hard for the endorsement. There are reports that the Seminoles have been practicing their defense in Pyongyang by throwing kickballs as hard as they can at the heads of orphans. While this may have impressed the dictator somewhat, it wasn't enough to pull the endorsement their way.