The No Bunting 10 Commandments

The Ten Commandments of Nobunting.com

I. Thou shalt keep the ‘kick’ in kickball

II. Thou shalt not make unto thyself any graven image of a kickball player who bunts, a player of foursquare or likewise a player of tiddlywinks. Thou art a kickball player and a person therewith. Speaketh not in tones of political correctness, but, rather, let thy voice be forthright. Let thy communication be “Kick it!” or “Bunting is for pussies!” and speaketh not the lukewarm utterances of the bunting class.

III. Thou shalt not take the name of thy coach in vain. Thou shalt obey him, and put his playing plan forth onto the field even in thy last innings.

IV. Remember the kickball day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou drink, and do all thy drunkenness in preparation for Tuesday: But the kickball day is for thy team, and thou shalt not cause thy team to be mocked by bunting but only by thy drunkenness and stupor.

V. Honour thy practice flip-cup sessions that thy days may be long upon the beers which thy kickball team giveth thee.

VI. Thou shalt not bunt. Behold, bunting is an abomination unto me, and maketh thy opponent’s head like unto spoiled fruit. This is not meet in mine eyes.

VII. Thou shalt not commit kickball whoredom, for, behold, whoring is an abomination unto me. Thou shalt retain thy love for kicking, not bunting, and not be given unto kickball whoredom like unto those of the bunting.

VIII. Thou shalt not pitch to bunters.

IX. Thou shalt not listen to referees that side with the bunting. When they asketh thee if thou hast sinned, thy answer shall be, “No, sir, for I do not bunt.”

X. Thou shalt not covet the victories of the bunting, for they are hardly victories at all, but only in a way that a losing match of tetherball is a victory for the ball.