Suck My Kick and Balled and the Beautiful faced off on field A in the early game and what a game it was. Dave Weller blasted a monstrous kick in the 4th inning but pulled a hammy while rounding the bases. I am told that after he was airlifted from the field (funny, I don't remember seeing a helicopter) his teammate, Stew, kicked home the game winning run and the final score was 5-3 in favor of Suck My Kick. Rob from Suck My Kick would like everyone to know that he's an allstar.
The teams now known as the Bull Gators and Don't Touch Our Balls are a result of a great schism of the formerly dominant Don't Touch Our Balls (aka the green team). Some say they split over an argument about ecclesiology but really they just had too many people sign up this season. For those of you who are new to the division, the green machine basically won every game they played for like 5 seasons (except for when they decided to take a forfeit because they would rather go to a baseball game and one other time). The Bull Gators were supposed to be the A team in the split but best laid plans yadda yadda yadda. Don't Touch Our Balls won 3-0.
Kick in a Box and Raging Balls are also the result of a team split from the old Smack My Pitch Up team. This was a really tough fought game but unfortunately Raging Balls is still having trouble with first grade math. They have difficulty counting the number of outs, the number of players in the field and now apparently, the number of runs scored by the other team. Raging Balls put up a threat in the 5th with bases loaded and 2 outs but just couldn't get the job done. Kick in a Box won 5-4. Just as a side note, wearing a rubber cone head on the field is really really hot. Ok so that might not come across exactly the same way as I meant it.
Tech USA and I Already Hit That faced off in a circus side show spectacular. There were somersaults, crazy colored t-shirt and even rumors of some creepy carnies lurking around the field. In case you were concerned over the rumbling earth last night, don't worry, it wasn't an earthquake. It was just Erik sliding home to score the first run of the season for his team. Final score: it was tied fun to fun (1-1).
The late game on Field A pitted Your Mom Makes a Dry Roast against Vicious and Delicious. Apparently some crazy ninjas showed up and did some crazy karate kicks which Tracy from Your Mom thought was the funniest thing ever. The anonymous player who was taken out at second seemed to disagree. Vicious and Delicious continued their winning ways and won 2-0.
The Seminoles looked pretty dominant last night in their game against the Ball Kickers. Seminole pitcher, Dale, even had a 3 pitch inning. This game can be pretty easily summed up with 2 quotes. "We owned 'em" - Dale. "Pure Raw Awesomeness" - Jen. The pink team took it up the pooper, 9-0. Field C's late game hosted a pair of undefeated teams, Anything But Blue Balls and New Kicks On The Block. Obviously something had to give. This was a down and dirty game with lots of sliding all over the place but the game was decided by New Kicks' captain Mike making a bad defensive play, allowing 2 runs to score for ABBB. Just like the Seminoles game, this can be best summed up by a quote. "Man, that Mike, what a tool. That was just a dumb play. You know? Its just like, what the hell are you doing out there?. What a Jackass!" - President Obama. Kanye West quickly jumped onto the fields and blurted, "I've seen some bad plays made but Mike made one of the worst plays of all time."
Our last game of the night was between Quit Yer Pitchin and We've Got the Runs. Unfortunately for the royal blue team, the team name this week should have been We've Got No Runs as they fell to Quit Yer Pitchin 9-0. As I was packing up the equipment after the games were over I found 2 notes left for me.
One was folded nicely, smelled like perfume and had a lipstick kiss on it. It read, "Dear Ty, Quit Yer Pitchin cheated. They were aggressive and unruly and got into fights and that's why they won. They are jerks. -love always, your secret admirer." The other note was all wrinkled and partially torn and smelled like mud. "Dear jerkface, The other team, whatever their names are, are losers. We beat them. We win by any means necessary. Everyone just needs to quit their bitchin. - Quit Yer Pitchin."
1 comment:
Actually Quit Yer Pitchin' won 9-0, not 3-1. Just sayin'.
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