Week five Player Profile - Looking to Score

Everybody, this is Jaime. No, not Jaime. Jaime. Like Jamie. But not. Are we good? Okay.

Jaime is the de facto captain of Looking to Score, which is currently 1-3-1. So… they might want to change their name to “Looking Into the Possibility of Maybe Scoring, If That’s Okay.” Looking to Score does boast the division’s best belcher and chugger, though, surprisingly, they are not the same person.

Jaime touts LTS’s status as the loveable losers – everyone seems to enjoy playing them because they’re “just retarded.” (I’d worry about a possible politically-correct backlash for that statement, but I’m fully aware no one really reads this blog.)

According to Jaime, she “used to be a girl” – a USF Sun Doll and Tampa Bay Storm Cheerleader. Seeing as this is a coed league with requirements regarding minimum number of female players, I’m surprised that no one’s taken her to task. But then I see their record and realize it probably doesn’t matter.

Jaime now spends her non-WAKA time as a Captain in the Florida National Guard. She’s been stationed in Honduras, Iraq, Uzbekistan, Afghanistan, and probably some more places that you’d never read about in Budget Travel. Jaime excelled in covert training in these war zones, partially due to her depth of knowledge regarding insurgencies. After all, she led members of her old team to defect this season and start anew. Jaime has no regrets, as she retained custody of the best flip-cuppers and karaoke singers.

Jaime refuses to take kickball too seriously – she’s seen far worse than a lopsided Seminoles win. While stationed in Afghanistan (in an area known as “Mortaritaville”) she and her bunkmates were sound asleep when a round hit their tent and the airwave blew them all out of their cots. And you thought you had stress at work?

Jaime is, however, not perfect: She’s “newly” not single. But who’s to say how solid that is – she hasn’t even changed her Facebook status to “In a Relationship.” So if you think you can give her a better story with regards to being blown away in bed, check her out on the royal blue team.