Founders Cup

Next weekend is a very exciting weekend for WAKA Kickball as teams from all over the country converge on Las Vegas to participate in the http://www.kickball.com/tournament/founderscup and the Kickball Games. You may be asking yourselves, what does that mean? What is the difference?

The Founders Cup is basically the Kickball World Championships. In order to qualify each team had to have played in a WAKA division in the past year and won their playoff tournament (or runner up in the playoffs in some cases). This can be an intense tournament with some of the best kickball players in the world and they all show up with their game faces on. Last year one of the favorites, the Meatballs from Fort Lauderdale, showed up with matching team t-shirts to be used during warm-ups that said "we piss excellence all over Vegas". By the time the tournament is over, the two teams in the finals will have played at least 8 games. Last years finals saw The Others from DC win over the Best Coast Ballers from San Francisco. You can view some of the tournament photos by going to http://www.flickr.com/photos/wakakickball/. The Seminoles received an invitation to play in this year's Founders Cup but declined because Florida State is playing that day and they all want to make sure they are sitting in front of a tv at game time. At least that is what I was told.

The Kickball Games is something new this year. This is intended to be a less competitive and more social experience. There is no elimination but every team will play at least 4 games in a round robin format. Rather than crowning a champion, there will be 5 prizes for superlatives given out for things like best costumes and best team skit. The interesting thing about this tournament is that you don't have to have won your division, nor do you even have to have played together as a team during a season. Each player on the team has to have been registered in a WAKA division in the past year but you can draw people in from other teams, other divisions or even other states.

We are all pretty excited that Tampa will be represented in these inaugural Kickball Games. The Alcoballics from the Bayshore Division are all pretty pumped up about their chance to strut there stuff in Sin City. Actually, Breaker is being represented too as Kyle from Multiple Scorgasms is also on the Alcoballics. We wish them the best of luck and remind them that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas, especially VD.



I will actually be there as well as I am in charge of the referees on the day of the tournament. If you are lucky and nice to me, I might send you a postcard.

Mysteries of the Natural World

Bigfoot: Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch, is purportedly an ape-like creature that inhabits forests, mainly in the Pacific Northwest region of North America. Bigfoot is usually described as a large, hairy, bipedal humanoid.
A majority of scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a legitimate animal, in part because some estimate large numbers necessary to maintain a breeding population,. Nevertheless, Bigfoot is one of the more famous examples of a cryptid within cryptozoology and an enduring legend.[1]




Loch Ness Monster: The Loch Ness Monster is a cryptid that is reputed to inhabit Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. The most frequent speculation is that the creature represents a line of long-surviving plesiosaurs. It is similar to other supposed lake monsters in Scotland and elsewhere, though its description varies from one account to the next.
Popular interest and belief in the animal has fluctuated since it was brought to the world's attention in 1933. Evidence of its existence is anecdotal, with minimal and much-disputed photographic material and sonar readings. The scientific community regards the Loch Ness Monster as a modern-day myth, and explains sightings as a mix of hoaxes and wishful thinking. Despite this, it remains one of the most famous examples of cryptozoology. The legendary monster has been affectionately referred to by the nickname Nessie (Scottish Gaelic: Niseag) since the 1950s. [2]

Sniper Squirrel: Though this cute little critter is rarely seen at the Police Athletic League field, his impact if often felt in the course of kickball play. Rumored to stalk the tree line on Tuesday nights, many believe that this little guy is the reason why so many players tend to trip and fall at key moments in games. Myth states that Sniper Squirrel attended Scout Sniper School with the US Marine Corps in 2003 and he was subsequently sent to Iraq and participated in the second battle of Fallujah. Though official records of Sniper Squirrel are considered top secret by the military, it has been rumored that this master of stealth had 37 confirmed kills during Operation Phantom Fury and was never once even spotted by enemy forces. This streak of good luck ended as the Marines were leaving the city. Sniper Squirrel was almost across the street when he spotted a humvee and quickly decided to cross the street again. A humvee tire almost took his life. After lengthy rehabilitation, Sniper Squirrel is now rumored to be retired in Tampa where he still likes to keep his skills sharp by taking out unsuspecting kickballers. [3]

Seminoles at MacDinton's: Long thought to be a myth, there are now some to claim that photographic evidence can prove that some Seminoles do indeed go to MacDinton's after their games. Lab tests from independent photographic experts has not yet confirmed that the photo has not been doctored. There are many theories as to why the Seminoles do not go to the bar. It is rumored that they prefer to hang out either at Bennigan's in Channelside or Chuck E Cheese's on Dale Mabry. Nonetheless, theories are abound to their motives on being anti-social with the rest of the division. One opposing player player has suggested that perhaps their anti-social behavior stems from their "lack of sex" or that they "are only allowed to have sex with each other, which causes issues within their pack and prevents them from wanting to talk to anyone else". There is another hypothesis. "They all have tiny wieners. You can quote me on that, put it in the blog. Anne from We've Got The Runs says that the Seminoles all have little wieners", said an anonymous source. Regardless of their motivation, the recent, unconfirmed sighting of 4 Seminole players at MacDinton's could signify a breaking from the heard. Rumor has it that they were even seen talking to members of other teams. Next week, MacDinton's will be installing motion activated game cameras at the bar to try to catch definitive proof that the ellusive MacDinton's Seminoles actually do exist. [4]

Which myth is LEAST likely to be true?

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_foot
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loch_ness_monster
3. Top Secret Government Records
4. Interviews with members of the FL Breaker division

Week 4 Theme - Pirate Hookers

That's right folks. You asked for it, you got it. You now have a whole week to plan your outfit for next week's theme so we came up with a fun one. Pirate Hookers. Come out in your favorite wench or pirate pimp costume. Don't claim that you don't have a suitable outfit for this theme. I've been on facebook, I've seen your pictures from Gasparilla. Extra credit for anyone who comes as Ron Burgundy.



By the way, the video probably isn't suitable for work. My apologies to anyone who didn't scroll down far enough before clicking on the link, sharing Ron Burgundy's "wisdom" with all of your now enlightened co-workers.

Week 3 Results

Offense was the name of the game in week 3. Not a single shut out by any team. That's right, even We've Got the Runs got a run this week. How did it happen? Well there was definitely lots of great kicking and terrible defense that went it to it. Lets break it down.

We've Got the Runs and Booze on First started us out on field 1 at 7pm. This one was actually a pretty tight defensive battle. You didn't think that when I said that We've Got the Runs scored that I meant a lot did you? That would be crazy talk. They were able to take a lead into the bottom of the 6th inning. They were poised for their first win of the season but Rob, aka Bubba, had other plans and kicked a home run to tie the game. In the 7th Booze on first had bases loaded with 2 outs but their last kicker inexplicably bunted a half inch bunt that was quickly picked up by the catcher and stepped on home plate to record the last out of the game. This one ends in a 1-1 tie.

Field 2 had 99 Problems and Masterbatters. 99 Problems were definitely looking for a rebound off of last week's miserable 1st inning defensive display from week one while Masterbatters were quite excited to show off their new matching headbands. In case you haven't noticed yet, I have a hell of a set of lungs on me so you always pretty much know what's going on in 99 Problem's games. The play of this one was Bryan's impressive (and completely unnecessary) dive into home plate. 99 Problems takes this one easily, 5-1.

There was a bit of controversy on field 3 in the game between Quit Yer Pitchin aka Swampballs and Baller I Hardly Know Her. A defensive gem, this game was not. Both teams had 3 run homes runs and a ton of errors. In the 5th inning the score was 11-9 in favor of Quit Yer Pitchin but the game was called off early because they had reached the hour time limit on the game (remember that 6 innings or 1 hour rule?). So the refs left to play in their games but both teams decided to keep playing just for fun. Just for fun ended up being quite heated as Baller scored 2 in that extra innings to unofficially tie the game. There was quite a bit of heated discussion that could have erupted into an all out ground war but a little levity was injected into the scene by Quit Yer Pitchin's Bill who said, "Come on guys, lets not be Seminoles. Lets settle this peacefully." and a potential crisis was averted. Quit Yer Pitchin won 11-9*.

Our late games were led off by a heated show down between Multiple Scorgasms and Balls N Dolls. Balls N Dolls had been one of 3 undefeated teams coming into the night. Unfortunately for them, they were not able to hold onto that title. They took a beating from the apparently Scientologist laden Multiple Scorgasms who were quoted as saying, "Tom Cruise would be proud of this one... he's the messiah" and then proceeded to sexually harass each other after the game. Balls N Dolls took the loss pretty hard. I could hear a player say, "what's our chant again?" before their team chant, which them messed up. Asked what happened in their first loss of the season, Team Captain, Jessica stated, "We blame the short Asian kid. He won't be playing next week so we will be back on top." Multiple Scorgasms win 6-2.

Last but certainly not least was our battle of the undefeated teams, Seminoles vs Asstastic Balls. The Seminoles are accustomed to being at the top of the table, while Asstastic Balls were in virgin territory (not something you often say about Asstastic Balls). The first inning was probably the most exciting, with the Seminoles taking a quick 2 run lead in the top of the inning, only to have Asstastic Balls do them one better by putting a 3 spot up on the board in the bottom half. Unfortunately they couldn't duplicate their 1st inning scoring output at any other point in the game and in the end succumbed to the serious Seminoles. Seminoles won 6-3.

Week 3 Theme

Tonight is week 3 and we are pulling out an old favorite theme. Redneck/White-trash bash! This should be an easy one as it shouldn't take any expense at all. Maybe some ripped jeans, trucker hat and creative use of duct tape of course.

Meet Justin and Cory

So, we have 2 chuggers in the division who claim to have never lost a chug. Justin and Cory are both amazing. We used to think that Erik was a hell of a chugger until this video was taken last season.



That right there on the right of your screen would be Justin. He sort of reminds you of that old guy, Red, who used to be on the Man Show. According to one Seminole, "Its amazing how he does that. He would do alright in prison." Justin and Cory faced off against each other at MacDinton's after the week 2 games for this epic showdown.



I'm actually really glad that we caught this one on video because, to the naked eye, it was hard to judge. It was still pretty close. Justin is in navy on the left of the screen and Cory is in black on the right of the screen.

We can definitely learn 2 things from these videos. A) If you are playing either Masterbatters or Booze on first, you might as well forfeit the chug. B) The video camera on my phone is way better than Jaime's. Oh, and how loud was it at the bar?

Who won the chug?

Week 2 Recap

What an exciting week we had in week 2. There was plenty of intense kickball, questionable refereeing and lots of fun had by all.

Our first game of the night had 99 Problems and Asstastic Balls on Field 1 at 7pm. Conspiracy theorists are going crazy over this one. Over the summer, Derek played for Asstastic Balls. This season he is on 99 Problems, or so we thought. In the first inning Derek dropped an easy pop fly that helped Asstastic Balls mount a 6 run first inning. 99 Problems battled back hard but their team, including rookies who had to wear adult diapers during the game, just didn't have enough to recoup from their first inning woes. Asstastic Balls won 7-5.

Field 2 saw Balls and Dolls take on Booze on First. Gordon was definitely the player of the game in this one. I was told that he and John made every defensive play in the field and he also kicked a decisive homerun. That was far from the most exciting moment of the game, however. At some point, Balls and Dolls team captain, Jessica, claimed that she had something on her shorts. Her teammate was more than willing to help her out by rubbing her butt, over and over again. It is unclear if this bizarre, semi-erotic scene was enough of a distraction to be the tipping point in the game. Balls and Dolls won 3-1.

Our last early game was a showdown on field 3 as the Masterbatters tried to take down the Seminoles. Things started off well for the navy team as they were able to mount a 4-1 lead early in the game. Things came apart though in the 4th inning. The Seminoles had the bases loaded but 2 outs. Sultenfuss kicked what many Masterbatters described as the best kick they have ever seen in kickball and was able to get the ball past the tree line for a grand slam. The Masterbatters' team cheer at the end of the night pretty much summed it up. "We only lose when we beat ourselves!". Seminoles won 6-4

Quit Yer Pitchin and Multiple Scorgasm took to field 1 in the late game. For those of you who are new to the division, here is a bit of a hint. Pablo, from Asstastic Balls, is not a bad ref, but for whatever reason he is a magnet for bizarre and unusual plays to happen at whatever base he is reffing. There has never been so many close plays at second base as there were tonight with baserunners running past the base and collision resulting in tagging the baserunner out while she was trying to help the defender up. Pablo is simply a lightning rod for strange happenings. If he is reffing your game, pay attention to whichever base he is assigned. There is sure to be plenty of action at that base during the game. In any event, Quit Yer Pitchin won 3-1.

Our last game of the night was between Baller I Hardly Know Her and We've Got The Runs. Despite their name, We've Got The Runs consistently has problems is getting very many runs. In the past they have half joked about changing their name to We've Got the Run or We've Got No Runs. Their MO held true this week. When asked about the game, Baller I Hardly Know Her described the game as "Pure Domination, a plucky little team going against true champions. We hardly knew them." Their post game victory speech included, "We had our shit together! This is what we should do always. We should win all the time!" That sounds like an awful lot of confidence from a team that lost their week 1 match up. We will see how they continue. Baller I Hardly Know Her won 5-1

Profiled Game of the Week

Asstastic Balls vs 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One

The games that gets us started this week on field 1 at 7pm is our profiled game of the week. This can be considered a rivalry game as a lot of players form both teams played on the same team over the summer in the Big Guava division. Both teams are coming off of impressive wins from week 1 as well.

Last season these two teams battled it out in a stunning 5-5 tie. Both of these teams are much improved from a season ago so it could be a very close game with lots of good humored trash talking.

Who will with the Week 2 profiled game?

Week 2 Theme Dungeons and Dragons

I am not sure where this theme came up with but its out official theme for week 2. Be sure you get dressed up as your favorite, knight, king, wizard or whatever else they have. Extra points goes to anyone dressed as a member of the band Kiss (think the movie Role Models).

LARP yourselves to your heart's content.

Boondocks Kickball

You can find some interesting programming late at night on the Cartoon Network. Recently there was a great episode of the Boondocks that involved kickball. Hopefully Robot Chicken will have a kickball episode soon too. Here is a preview of the episode and a compilation of some great kickball scenes from the Boondocks.

Our kickball is a bit less intense but if you watched the episode the sound of the ball being kicked was perfect.

Division History

You May or may not be aware of it but this is the Breaker Divisions 9th season of play. We have a lot of veterans but we love all the new people every season. You can view the division archives on the division webpage for an overview of all the teams who have ever played in our illustrious division.

The history can get a bit tricky as players leave existing teams to join or create new ones for a variety of reasons. They may be unhappy with their current team, have more friends than can fit on their old team or they join the team of whoever they are jumping into bed with that week (that's our favorite excuse btw).

Here I will try to give you a bit of a history of the genesis of the more veteran teams in the division.

99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One: The core of this team was created in Fall 2009 in one of the worst experiments in team building ever in the history of kickball. Elements of Smack My Pitch Up branched off to create what ended up being the worst kickball team the division has ever seen. In Winter 2010 the core recombined with SMPU and created 99 Problems. Over the Summer, the core of 99 Problems played in the Big Guava division with Asstastic Balls and poached many of the best players from that team, along with some other teams, to play for the much improved 99 Problems. Though there are 7 players from that Raging Balls team, this current team should bear very little resemblance to that lovable band of losers.

Asstastic Balls: This has historically been one of the most fun teams in the division. The core of that team started in the Fall of 2008 as I'd Hit It. They had won the Crystal Pitcher (basically the award for the coolest team) 3 times and changed their team name each time. They went from I'd Hit It, I'd Hit It Again, I Already Hit That and then for whatever reason changed their name to Who's Got Asstastic Balls which has since been shortened to just Asstastic Balls. This team also played over the summer in the FL Big Guava division.

Baller I Hardly Know Her: This is mostly a new team but their core derived from last season's Don't Go Chasing Waterball. They were combined with another new group of people to form this season's team.

Balls N Dolls: The leadership for this team played on last season's Cleats and Cleavage.

MasterBatters: Last season this team was known as Looking to Score. They are the reigning Crystal Pitcher champions (even though they lost their trophy thanks to a mixture of alcohol and hormones). Asstastic Balls still seem a little bitter that this group beat them in an extremely close Crystal Pitcher ballot. They have a new name and a new color but expect this team to be a lot of fun.

Quit Yer Pitchin: This is one of our most veteran teams. They started in Fall 2008. They are hard to recognize since they switch colors every season. They have been Navy, Maroon, Red, Purple and now Royal Blue. This season they had a bit of an identity crisis. They combined with another group called Swamp Balls and were going by that name up until right before the season started. Their identity crisis seems to manifest itself on the field as well as you never really know how they will play. At times they are amazing and at others they look like the reincarnation of Raging Balls. One thing that is consistent though is that they are a fun group of people to chill with.

Seminoles: Ahh the Seminoles. The team that everyone loves to hate. These guys are by far our most veteran team. This trash talking team traces their origins to Winter 2007. They tend to be perennial favorites and have won the playoff tournament 4 times while posting the best record in the regular season once. They have a reputation for arguing the rules a lot and not going to the bar (you can understand why people like them so much). In Week one I spotted several of them at the bar so maybe this year they will argue the rules a little less as well. Everyone loves to hate on these guys but truth is, Breaker probably wouldn't be the same without them. Plus, some of those Seminoles can be nice to look at.

We've Got The Runs: This team had its beginnings in Fall 2009. Made up of mostly nurses, this is the team to visit if you get injured. Like, Quit Yer Pitchin, they change their t-shirt color every season. They have been Royal Blue, Maroon and now Carolina Blue. This season they picked up quite a few players from Debauchery from this Summer's Big Guava division. They are hoping that Debauchery's players, and their 2nd place finish in the summer, will help We've Got The Runs win more than their usual 2 games this season.

And now a picture that has nothing to do with the division history but its still pretty funny.

Pics or Videos Anyone?

So do your team have any interesting stories of something you did together? Maybe something funny happened and you were quick enough to pull out your phone to take a picture or some video. If you want to share send whatever you have to us so we can post it up on the blog.

This week we have Brendan from 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One doing the cinnamon challenge. What is the Cinnamon Challenge do you ask? Its easy. Just take a spoonful of cinnamon and put it all in your mouth and swallow it down. How tough could that be? Brendan could probably tell you.



Where would we bit in this world without smartphones with cameras that can upload instantly to youtube?

Where did we get such a crazy idea? You can thank Tosh.0 and a surprisingly little amount of beer.

Week 1 Polls

Which is your favorite team name?

Which week 1 winners is most likely to continue their winning ways this season?

Which losing team from Week 1 is not likely to bounce back?

There's an App For That!

So, its your turn to ref a game. Of course you have spent the time to make sure you are familiar with the WAKA Rules and Rules FAQ, because they are easy to find and download online. Here is the problem, sometimes its hard to keep track of all of the balls, strikes, outs, fouls and runs. Good news though. There is an App for that.

If you have an iPhone or an Android phone there are 2 applications that you can download to help with your reffing duties. They are both very similar.

For the iPhone is iRef Kickball. This app is 99 cents and it has a lot of customizable features plus includes a game clock and built in searchable rules (though the rules are slightly outdated the last time I looked at it).

If you have an Android phone there is Kickball Ref. This one is free. It doesn't have the same customization as the iRef but it is very helpful and easy to use. Since its free, you don't really have any excuse for not downloading it if you have an android phone. I even included the qr code so you can scan that with your phone and instantly download it.

These apps can definitely make your life easier if you are a ref or if you are simply a captain, trying to keep better score of the game. A real benefit to either of these apps is that after the game is over you can easily email the final score of the game, right from the app to whoever, say Erik, so you can quickly and accurately report the final score to any game.

If you don't have an iPhone or Android phone, well you are plumb out of luck and you should probably think about getting one. This whole smartphone thing is probably not a fad.

FL Breaker - New Season

We are back in the swing with things with the new season of the FL Breaker division. Week one has come and gone and man, was there a bunch of excitement. We have some new names and faces, new teams and new t-shirt colors.

I don't have details on all of the games so I won't give a game by game rundown but I will give you a few notes of interest.

Asstastic Balls looked like a bunch of pros in their first game against Baller, I Hardly Know Her.

According to Swamp Balls, the Seminoles are definitely beatable this season. Ironically, the Swamp balls discovered this in a game where they failed to beat the Seminoles.

99 Problems had a pretty much flawless game, except for the fact that team captain, Ty (that's me), tore his calf muscle in the game. Note: if you are going to stretch your shoulders, back, groin, hamstring and quads before a game, try not to forget the calf muscles too. Also, while a pitch might not be one of their problems, forgetfulness is. The poor team in orange left a bunch of t-shirts and one shoe on the field after the game.

Booze on First and Multiple Scorgasms are slow to report scores. You would think one team would be a bit more excited to brag about winning.

Masterbatters and Balls and Dolls both have lots of veteran players with new team names and t-shirt colors.

If you are going to play 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One this season, be sure to wear sunglasses. Holy crap that orange is bright.

If you are a guy looking to flirt this season, you are in luck. There are 6 more girls than guys signed up for the season but there are definitely some teams you should take special note of. Booze on First - Black has 18 girls, We've Got The Runs - Carolina Blue has 17 (mostly nurses) and Balls and Dolls - Green has 15. If you are a girl looking to flirt your best options are probably 99 Problems (14 guys and 8 girls) or Seminoles (13 guys and 8 girls). Considering that the Seminoles have a bad rep of not being social at the bar you are probably best sticking with 99 Problems (coincidentally, my team).