Can you believe that we are already halfway through the season? At this point we are starting to get a good look at all of the teams and what their makeup is, I will go through each team and give them a grade in both their on field and off field performance. These grades are determined using a very complex mathematical formula where I don't care is squared, divided by totally made up shit to the power of it doesn't matter. So here are the grades for the first half of the season:
99 Problems but a Pitch Aint One: Field A+, Fun A+
Come on, you didn't think I would give my own team anything but an A+ did you? Actually, unlike in past seasons when I've done grades, this team probably actually deserves it. So far they are undefeated on the field and have posted up some pretty lopsided score. Every week they bring some sort of treats to the field and are always seen making lots of noise on the flip cup table as well as the karaoke stage.
Asstastic Balls: Field C-, Fun B+
Asstastic Balls usually have a much higher fun rating but I feel like this year they haven't had quite the same form though there is always one or 2 fools on the team that participate in any theme we through out there. I'm pretty sure that we could make a US Presidents of the 1800's not named Lincoln theme and the Beast would show up dressed as Martin Van Buren. On the field, this team struggles but never count them out. They have the ability to go very deep and score lots of runs in bunches.
Balls and Dolls: Field B-, Fun B+
Our Returning champs are not having the easiest run at retaining their title but it all comes down to the playoffs anyways and anything can happen then. This has always been a fun and laid back team with lots of spirit. If you hear a random cheer from across the field, its likely to be the reaction from the Balls and Dolls bench to a player safely making it to base.
Barbara Balters: Field A, Fun A-
We were a little worried about this team at first. They had a pretty weak showing at the pre-season party and were anti-social in week one at the bar. I actually have had a few guys come up to me and express some frustration that the 3 beautiful ladies in fedoras at the pre-season party weren't wearing their stickers to indicate whether or not they were single. Since then this team has definitely shown that they know how to have a good time and are now a force on the flip cup tables. They are also shaping up to be one of the toughest teams in the league.
Booze on First: Field B, Fun B
This team's record could probably be a bit better if it wasn't for their 2 very close losses against 99 Problems and the Seminoles. Those are both very tough teams and Booze on First had a good chance in both of those. Don't ever count this team out as they bring their A game against the toughest teams. This is a pretty laid back and easy going team and even when they don't have a large showing of players at the bar, there will always be a few who will be more than happy to join your flip cup team.
D's Nutz: Field C-, Fun B+
Despite the fact this team developed a computer program to maximize their roster, D's Nutz have had a hard time capitalizing on it. It looks like it needs a little bit of tweaking. They can be a bit of a quiet team but they do have their own band which instantly gives them plenty of cool points. I have only heard small samples of Sunshine and Bullets on their website but I hope you will all support them at their show on Apr 13th.
I can definitely guarantee that you will enjoy them way more that this awful piece of mind numbing dribble that I discovered today:
It kind of makes you hate Fridays.
Jagerballs: Field C, Fun B
Jagerballs may not be the best team on the field but they are a fun and laid back bunch. With a captain named Romeo, they are always good for a couple of good sexual innuendos on the sidelines. They are the league's smallest teams so they have to keep it loose to make sure everyone shows up to avoid forfeits.
Masterbatters: Field D-, Fun A
I love the Masterbatters. They love to have a good time, even in losing, which they do plenty of. So far they have lost their games by a combined score of 32-6. They don't let that get them down though. They even have cutouts of Elvis and Marilyn Monroe as their cheering section on the sideline. What does that tell you when your cheering section is physically incapable of actually cheering? This team is what WAKA is all about.
Seminoles: Field A-, Fun Incomplete
The Seminoles only get an A- after their loss this week. They are a good team who can beat just about anyone. Their challenge for the rest of the season without the strong leg of injured player, Salty. The've got a bad reputation for being overly competitive and complainers but the core of the team is actually really fun to joke around with. Their biggest problem is that they never go to the bar. Later on you will notice that they don't go to the parties either. I don't take it personally because I know its not about me, they just don't like you very much.
Suck My Kick: Field B+, Fun A
Last but certainly not least is Suck My Kick. This team is mostly made up of models who think it would be nice to play kickball. They are quickly coming together as a team and where able to pull off the stunning upset over the Seminoles this past week. This team definitely knows how to have fun and are a force to be reckoned with at the bar. If there is a party, Suck My Kick wants to be there.
4 comments:
this picture must have been from when you were cheating on your team last tuesday during flip-cup!
As a matter of fact, yes
I'm going to need some colors to associate with these teams.
99 Problems - Orange
Seminoles - Yellow/Gold
Barbara Ballters - White
Of course you can always go to www.kickball.com/flbreaker and take a look on the right side of the page to see all of the teams listed and what color they are. Its also on the schedule and standings.
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