Beginners Guide to Bayshore Teams

The Bayshore League is back with 16 teams this Spring and we realize that it is impossible to get to know every team after just one week. Hell its probably impossible to get to know all 16 teams in just one season. So here is our slightly less than accurate run down on each team.

The Old Guard
These teams have been with us for what seams like forever, since before the dawn of time and recorded history (or at least for 2 years or more).

• Balls N Dolls - Black

Balls N Dolls is always an entertaining team to have in the league. When they decide to show up they can be pretty dominant but they are also the most likely to forfeit. To many of their players are too busy doing Crossfit or P90X to be bothered with kickball. Without fail, during the playoffs they will have a couple of players show up who have hardly showed all season but look like finely performance enhanced atheletes, and an opponent will ask for a roster check to verify that they are in fact signed up for the team.

• Off Constantly - Royal Blue

This was my team for many many seasons. In the time I played for them we never had a winning season. The season after I left they went undefeated. I try not to take that personally. Last Spring they took a season off but came back soon after and are defending Playoff Champions. Their defense is solid and their offense is explosive

• Pick Me Up - Irish Green

Some of the players on this team go as far back as the 2nd season in the Bayshore league. Back when they first started playing kickball they had't even invented the Android or iPhone yet and had to run 5 miles in between each base, uphill, in the snow, barefoot. Their experience shows on the field as they play smart.

• Camel Toes 5.0 - Pink

The Camel Toes are easy to spot. They are loud and boisterous and usually in some sort of costume. In at least one game this season one person will be in a Gumby costume and no one will be quite sure who it is. If you are lucky enough to be on this team, we hope you have some sort of discount to a costume shop.


The Veterans
These guys have been around long enough to know the drill but not as long as the old guard.

• 1.21 Kickawatts - Light Blue

You may better know them by their old name, I Need a Refill. Ok so its not exactly the same team as they do have a lot of new people this season, a new name and a new captain but the core of the team is the same.  In their previous form they were one of the toughest teams to beat but for some reason could never bring home the playoff championship.

• Your Balls My Foot - Red

If history is any indicator, these guys do better when hardly anyone shows up and they just barely escape forfeit. They will try to distract you by leading off the first inning with some of the prettiest girls in kickball and then when you are too busy checking them out, Big Erik will kick the ball over everything.

• Ballsagna - Navy

This was a brand new team last year, wearing bright orange t-shirts but this year they decided to change to Navy and hope to improve on their 4-4 record from last season.


The Converts
The players from these teams are mostly new to the Bayshore league but used to play (or in some cases also still play) in the Tuesday night Breaker League.

• Gettin Kicky With It - Forest Green

Technically a brand new team but lots of veterans from Tuesday night's 99 Problems and Guttersnipes teams. They have a tough schedule so anything can happen but don't expect an easy victory when facing them. (at least I hope not since I'm on that team).

• Where My Pitches At - Purple

They were new to the Breaker League last year and had a rough go at it. They started their kickball careers by losing by a combined 35-0 after 3 games. They made the switch to Thursday nights hoping that the Bayshore teams are a little easier on them.

• We've got the Runs - White

Another team that decided that they might have better luck playing on Thursdays. Last season in Breaker they were 3-5 but rode a 2 game win streak into the end of the season.


The Rookies
Since they are new, we don't really know an awful lot about these teams other than their team names. We welcome them all to the league.

• Don't Come on My Base - Charcoal

We will let the name speak for itself here.

• 2 Legit to Kick - Maroon

They are clearly a bunch of hard core MC Hammer fans. We can't wait to see them dance. The music hits them so hard, makes them say "oh My Lord, Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hype feet" (Yes I know that's a different song but, sadly, the lyrics to 2 Legit to Quit are as forgettable as MC Hammer).

• Balls Deep - Orange

This is one of the most popular team names around WAKA Nation but we haven't seen a Balls Deep in Tampa in a few years. Ironically enough, the last manifestation of Balls Deep almost never kicked the ball deep and in fact, had difficulty scoring.

• I'd Hit It - Ice Gray

Another blast from the past name not related to the old team by the same name in the Breaker League.

• Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team - Texas Orange

Love the name. We are slightly curious if the pungent aroma of Sex Panther Cologne can be an effective aphrodisiac at closing time at MacDinton's.

• Lil' Moe With the Gimpy Leg - Gold

We are a little unsure of the name but we believe its an extremely obscure Home Alone 2 reference. If that is where they get the team name, we are slightly concerned about this team's obsession with Macaulay Culkin. 

For a look at the history of the league, be sure to check out the league archive section on the League webpage.