Tampa, FL - Last night, Don't Touch My Balls defeated the Seminoles in a close 2-0 contest. It was the latest set back for the Seminoles who are now winless thus far in the season after losing their first 3 games.Things are looking bad for the Seminoles. They lost in the 5th inning of game 1 to the rookie Relocators in a game that has become known as forfeitgate. They followed that up in week 2 with a forfeit to Team Turtlehead. It is certainly tough to take for the team that won the division tournament just 2 seasons ago (though that win was a result of a Rock/Paper/Scissors contest).
In fact things are so bad that Seminole Captain Dale has been put on a suicide watch for his own safety after he and almost his entire team were suspiciously absent from MacDinton's last night. Things have gotten tough for the team and Dale has pledged to find new players if things don't start turning around soon. The team has even hired a new trainer, Anna Sassin, to take care of any players who are underperforming.News of the hiring has put the team on edge as many Seminole players are now fearful over their own personal safety. It worried Co-Captain Jon Biard so much that he elected to join the Witness Protection program. "Anna Sassin is crazy man. The Ballers hired her last season to whip their team into shape. They lost the championship game and now look at them... they are gone man, they are all gone! I've got to join Witness Protection for my own safety. I am just afraid that Chief Dale will go on a killing spree if we lose any more games."
Next week the Seminoles will hope to end their misfortunes by playing the McLovins. It won't be an easy task as last night the McLovins were dominant in everything from chug off to the final game of flip cup at MacDinton's last night.
3 comments:
Dale would like me to be a little more specific about the Championship 2 seasons ago. It was a double elimination tournament. They forced the now defunct Don't Touch Our Balls team (not to be confused with the current Don't Touch My Balls team) out of the tournament by forfeit because they only had 3 girls and then faced off against the Ballers in the finals.
The Ballers had the best record in the regular season and the Seminoles came in 3rd.
Because it was a double elimination tournament The Seminoles had to beat the Ballers once then play a second game. That game was played for 8 innings before both teams decided to quit.
Everyone had been in the hot sun for over 6 hours drinking and everyone had enough so rather than playing more innings the captains decided to decide the outcome in a Rock/Paper/Scissors contest. The Seminoles won in a best out of 3 contest to claim the division championship.
By the way Don't Touch Our Balls was the 2nd place team in the regular season that season.
NO...
there was no rock paper scissors at all. we beat them at the game of kickball. it was a great win for the Seminoles.
having a correction on the comments page is pretty crappy. i want this on the front page.
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