Seminoles have Secret Weapon

Tampa, FL - Seminole Team Captain, Dale, claims to have a top secret weapon in his quest to return the Seminoles to glory this seasn. Three seasons ago the Seminoles were able to claim top spot in the playoffs but have struggled to reclaim that success since the dominant Don't Touch My Balls entered the division. Last season the Seminoles started the season 0-4 and finished with only 2 wins. In the offseason Dale decided to change the team back from Maroon to Gold.

Dale has been known to pull out secret weapons from time to time, some worked and some did not. In the playoffs 3 seasons ago he arranged for the entire team to show up to the field in a Hummer Limo and came wearing a full headdress and carrying a spear, hoping to inspire his team. Last season he tried unsuccesfully to rally the troops by repeatedly playing the Seminole's war chant in a constant loop. There were also reports that Dale flew his team to Pyongyang, North Korea to practice their defense by throwing kickballs as hard as they could at the heads of poor orphan children.

This season Dale will again be trying to pull out all the stops to claim Kickball Gold. He has even resorted to the unthinkable act of recruiting Gators to play for his Seminoles team but reports say that Dale has even gone one step further. Dale was quoted to say, "I've got a top secret weapon and the 'Noles are going to win everything this year. I'm a winner damn it! A Winner!"

Only time will tell what the top secret weapon is. Did he pay strippers to distract the opposing teams? Did he find a way to cork a kickball? Is he working with the Chinese government? Anything is possible with Dale. Rumors are flying but no one knows for sure. The Seminoles will be renewing their heated rivalry with the Ballers in Week 1 and the Ballers hope not to be the first victims of Dale's new secret weapon.