Breaker Spring 2012 Preview

Breaker is upon us, and that can only mean one thing, fun.  Its been a long off season for the Tuesday night crowd and I knew of at least a couple of teams who have been practicing together because they just can't wait to get back to playing. So here is your run down on all of the teams this season.

• 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One - Orange

This bright orange team is a force to be reckoned with. They play together as a unit and travel in packs. Its hard to get onto this team because almost everybody comes back so they usually never have room for newbies. In the fall they only added one player. This Spring they are adding 3, which is a ton for them. When first founded they were not much of a contender but 2011 was a good year for them. They are still reigning champions from last Summer's Big Guava league and lost in a very close extra innings championship game for Breaker in the Fall to the Seminoles. 

• Asstastic Balls - Pink

This isn't exactly the same Asstastic Balls team you've become accustomed to. Sure they still wear pink and Erik is still the captain so that's a deep ball threat but a lot of the regular crowd decided to take this season off to stretch for next season. We don't really know what to expect from this new collection but they should be a fun crew. 

• Barbara Ballters - White

Don't let the name fool you. Barbara Ballters is a tough team. They have been around for a full year now and are one of the hardcore teams that have played in both Breaker and the Summertime Big Guava leagues. Don't get too confused about the red football jersey, trophy and helmet that you may see a player wear. They've formed a little bit of a tradition that their MVP from their previous game gets to wear that stuff at their next game. They are tough to beat in the field and always show up in great numbers at the bar. The one knock on them... their games take too long and there is usually too much time in between pitches so if you want to get your whole game finished in time, don't doddle out to the field in between innings. 

• Blast - Blast

This is mostly a brand new team. So what do we know about Blast? Well, about as much as your typical frat boy knows about g-spots. Absolutely nothing. Now you could also read that to say that we don't care to know but we actually do. Judging by the showing at the pre-season party there are some pretty young ladies filling out the roster. (Hey Ladies, call me). Considering that they are so new, we don't expect much out of them on the field but that could mean they are a sleeper if another team takes them for granted. They are probably the most likely team to still be at the bar at closing time. 

• Cleats N Cleavage - Green

This is one of my favorite teams in the league. Its just a good collection of people. They used to be known as Balls N Dolls until they got tired about hearing that there was another team in the Bayshore league by the same name. These one time league champions have some moments of greatness but the rest of the league has mostly surpassed them in overall skill (but not overall fun). They are hoping that some of their new players will help bring them back to glory. If you are new to this team, rejoice. This is about as solid of a group of people as you will find.

• Dirty Sons of Pitches Guttersnipes - Maroon

OK, lets be honest. We know that Guttersnipes was a weird name when we first heard it last season. We all had to do our little wikipedia search to figure out what the hell a guttersnipe was but they became the name, or the name became them, or, hell I don't know. In any event the name stuck so even though they officially changed it this year, its more than likely that everyone will just know them as the Guttersnipes. They are one of the tougher teams in the league, and have improved in the off-season with some key pickups. They play the Seminoles twice this season so watch out for both of those matchups.

• Sit On My Base - Light Blue

Its a new name but they are not newbies by any stretch. Last Spring they were known as Suck My Kick and were one of the most successful entirely new teams we've ever seen. Don't let their assortment of supermodels fool you, they come to play. They are built for speed and party hard. They took some time off after last spring, presumably to spend more time partying and getting ready to crush opponents this Spring. We will see if they can shake the rust off in the new season. You have to love the awkwardness of the team name. At the pre-season party a couple of new players showed up and they weren't quite sure who their teammates were, prompting Erik to have to go around to random kickballers and ask "Sit on my base? No? How about you? Sit on my base?" That is kickball gold right there.

• Seminoles - Gold

Remember what I said about Cleats N Cleavage? Pretty much none of it applies to the Seminoles. They are the most hated, despised and villainous team the kickball world has ever known. They offer to walk little old ladies across the street, only to ditch them halfway and as a teammate barrels down the road in an 18 wheeler. Of course none of that is actually true but's funny how the myth of the Seminoles spreads quickly. They are usually known as the most hated team in the league but a lot of that has to do with how good and competitive they are (they have the hardware to prove it and would he happy to show you all of their trophies) but what really has killed them historically is their poor attendance at the bar and at league parties. When they do come out I highly encourage everyone to say hello, they aren't as bad as the scary stories claim that they are. Rumor has it that they are finally hoping to travel to Vegas to represent Tampa at the Founders Cup this year (after qualifying in this past Fall season)

Be sure to check out the season schedule on the league webpage.

Who will be the toughest team to beat this season in the FL Breaker league?