Week 3 - We've Got The Runs

Everyone say hello to Andrea. If Andrea looks familiar to you, aside from this being her second season with WAKA, you may very well have run into her at Tampa General. Andrea, like many of her teammates, is a nurse – and had some interesting stories from the trauma unit.

“What’s the worst thing you’ve seen?”

“Nail gun to the head. No, wait. Arrow to the head.”

So if Andrea seems unfazed by a hard slide to second or possible sprained ankles, you know why.

According to Andrea, WGTR’s team motto is “It’s not a kickball game till Andrea falls down.” With a record of 1-2, it’s safe to say she hasn’t been falling down enough. As a nurse, Andrea is fully capable of resuscitating her team in trying times. But if you notice her actually resuscitating one of her teammates, don’t worry that the dude suffers from frequent grand mal seizures - that’s just her boyfriend. Feel free to tell them to get a room, though.

(On a side note: Did anyone else used to think that people were saying “Grandma seizure”? No? Just me? Okay.)

In her spare time, Andrea enjoys watching reality shows. Like… every one of them. From “American Idol” to “Tool Academy.” Which seems redundant, since Ryan Seacrest should be the star of both, right?

WGTR’s is supposedly better at flip cup than kickball, so take them to task next time you see them at MacDinton’s. But remember to drive safe – Andrea doesn’t want you to visit her at work.

Week 4 Theme - Toga Party

Toga Toga Toga. Need I say more?

Week 3 Results

Wow, we are already 3 weeks deep into the season and we are really seeing some exciting action. We've got just 2 unblemished teams left and they don't play in the regular season. Will we see a matchup of the undefeated teams in the Championship game of the playoffs? Only time will tell.

Our first game of the night saw Suck My Kick take on Cleats and Cleavage. By taking on I mean they were really taking on the poor girl on second base. Suck My Kick as clearly thirsty for blood after their unceremonious tie last week and on more than one occasion during this game Suck My Kick players slid aggressively into second base, knocking over the second baseman. When asked about the overly aggressive hard play an unnamed member of Suck My Kick replied, "We just really like hard things, harder, harder, oh yeah baby, that's it, give it to me hard!" Suck My Kick was victorious 4-2.

Field B faced Don't Go Chasing Waterballs and Looking To Score against each other. This was an extremely close game. How close? Well after 5 complete innings the score was tied at 1 but it was only 7:36. Here is the way it works folks, if teams are tied after 5 innings, the captains may elect to play an extra innings if there is time left to complete another full inning. After each inning of play the captains can decide what to do if there is more time. In this case this game went 7 innings and still resulted in a tie game, 1-1. ** Correction - Don't Go Chasing Waterballs won in the 7th 2-1**

On Field C we had We've Got The Runs against I'd Kick That. Can someone please tell me what the final score to this game was? In the first inning I'd Kick That scored 4 runs, or was it 3? No one really seems to know for sure. Later in the game, We'veGot The Runs were able to come back and score 3. At the end of the game it was a bit confusing as We've Got The Runs were celebrating a tie and I'd Kick That was celebrating a victory. The head ref claims that it was 4-3 so that's what I will go with for now unless someone can provide proof to the contrary. I'd Kick That has an asterisk victory, 4*-3.

Who's Got Asstastic Balls played We Like Em Young on Field A at 8pm. This was not a close game but it did have some memerable moments. First, we had our first ever ground rule double by Who's Got Asstastic Balls. We also had a contested play at first base. There was a We Like Em Young girl at first base and the ball was popped up and caught. She had been on her way to 2nd base so she was forced to go back to 1st base. She was able to make it back to the base but over ran the base. Who's Got Asstastic Balls got the ball to their first baseman who stepped on the base. The problem is that once the girl returned to first base after the catch the force is negated and she is free to advance so the first baseman would have had to tag her to be out. Of course it took me a while to understand what the hell was going on in this one. The refs did the right thing and pulled me out of my game to clarify the rule and make a final ruling. The difficulty was in that when it was described to me the first time, there were a few verbs missing. I mostly got, "Girl on first, caught, past base, touched the base. Is she out or safe?" Huh? Anyways We Like Em Young won 5-0.

Seminoles and Lick My Wet Cleat was a battle of the undefeated. That was about it on that. This game can best be described with quotes. Jeni from Lick My Wet Cleat had something stunning to say but its unquotable. Its mosty unquotable because I forgot to write it down but believe me, it was totally awesome. Just think of something totally awesome that Jeni would say about the Seminoles. Overheard from a Ref to the Seminoles, "Where are these rules that you guys beat off to?" after the Seminoles tried to pull one over on the refs by quoting a rule that didn't exist. The Seminoles quote, "Pure raw awesomeness". Ok, so they didn't actually say that last night but they are often quoted saying that about themselves after a big victory. Seminoles put an exclamation point on their dominance in this 10-1 victory.

Last but not least, Field C saw Quit Yer Pitchin and 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One. This was a close battle as 99 Problems scored 2 in the bottom of the first, only to have QYP come back in the top of the 2nd. The score would remain the same until a couple of bizarre plays in the 4th. 99 Problems had bases loaded and a girl laid down a bunt. QYP was able to field the ball and get it to their catcher quickly but the catcher was straddling the plate and the 99 Problems baserunner was able to slide under the tag for the score. Later in the inning 99 Problems popped a ball up and the kicker gave up on the play, hardly leaving the box. The ball somehow dropped in shallow right field. QYP fielded the ball and threw it and hit the runner coming down the first base line. The ref initially called the runner out, only to look up and realize that the runner wasn't the kicker but the QYP catcher, clearing the path for the 99 Problems kicker to reach base safely. 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One were victorious 4-2 and the check is in the mail to the QYP catcher.

South Florida Kickball Open

So I am blogging to you live from Brian Piccolo Park in Fort Lauderdale today (having a cell phone that can tether to your netbook is a wonderful thing). So why am I here? Well I am checking out the South Florida Kickball Open. It is an open tournament for any team that wants to participate and they follow the WAKA Rules.

This year there are 31 teams who each paid $500 to play but the winning team gets $5,000. Just about everyone here is WAKA but not necessarily playing for their WAKA team. We've got all stars coming in from all over the country, including 7 teams from New York City.

The final game is about to start here between a team from Virginia Beach and a team from Fort Lauderdale. There were a few teams from Jacksonville that represented, in that they showed up and lost but had a great time.

Lets try to get one of our Champion teams to Vegas this year for the Founders Cup and a couple of teams down to Fort Lauderdale for the South Florida Kickball Open next year.

Week Two Player Profile - John. Or Mark. Probably John.

Meet John. John plays catcher. John likes the New York Yankees.

No – this is not a repeat from last week. I just seem to have a knack for finding Johns. Enough about my weekends, though…

This is John’s first season with WAKA, so this is his grand introduction to the division. Actually, it’d be best to give him a grand introduction to a certain member of his own team, who thought his name was Mark. Maybe she thought he was just ignoring her when she shouted things like “Mark, cover home” or “Mark, dudes aren’t allowed to bunt.”

John plays catcher for Don’t Go Chasing Waterballs – easily in the running for best team name this season. The yellow team is currently 1-0-1 with a 1-1 tie from last night’s game.

John’s single, ladies, and he holds a degree in Public Relations. He’s currently in pre-nursing school and also served in the U.S. Navy for six years. He’s travelled extensively and yes – he has seen his fair share of pirates on the high seas. Except, to hear him tell the story, you’d wonder how Disney ever launched a successful film trilogy based on those seafarers:

“There were pirates. We saw them. We knew who they were. They knew who we were. That was about it.”

Fascinating.

John said he had more stories, but if he told me, he'd have to kill me. Oh, how many of my nights at MacDinton's have ended with a man whispering those words to me.

On to week three!

Best Chugger Ever?

I got the video of the chugg off between Who's Got Asstastic Balls and Looking To Score so you can see for yourself the impressive display. For a little background information, Erik (in pink) has easily been the best chugger in the division and until last night had never lost a chugg in 3 or 4 seasons. That was until last night when newbie Justin showed Erik how it is really done.



Kinda reminds you of "The Fox" on the early episodes of The Man Show.
Zicke, zacke, zicke, zacke, hoi, hoi, hoi,
Zicke, zacke, zicke, zacke, hoi, hoi, hoi!


The Worlds Fastest Beer Drinker - Watch more Funny Videos

What do you think of Justin's chugging performance?

Which of these winless teams is most likely to go the entire season without a win?

Which of these currently undefeated teams has the best chance of remaining undefeated throughout the entire season?

Week 3 - 80's Theme

Week 3's theme is 80's. You may be asking yourself, "isn't the 80's theme overdone"? From what I understand if you are a girl the answer is "absolutely not! We need 80's all of the time".

If you are a guy the answer is "Hell yeah its overdone but if it makes the ladies happy it makes me happy so I will wear dumb 80's clothing all day every day if it helps me hook up with that hot POA I've had my eyes on since the preseason meet and greet because I'm creepy like that".

So whichever side of that you are one, be sure to get dressed up in all of our 80's gear in week 3.

Bar Results - Week 2

Week 2 at the bar was was pretty busy. Most of the teams represented well for the most part everyone got at least 5 points.

How good was the bar attendance in week 2? Well even Suck My Kick decided to come out and join us and they were pretty active early on the flip cup table. Unfortunately, for most of the night they had me in a corner arguing and complaining to me about green fairy refs who may or may not actually exist, the state of the economy, the cold weather, the Olympic Opening Ceremonies and just about anything else. Actually for the most part I'm not quite sure what they were complaining about because they were all complaining at once so I couldn't process it all. The bad news is that it kept me from seeing what else was going on at the bar so they at least get one point for showing up.

I'm told that Don't Go Chasing Waterballs was there but they left before I got there so I will give them the benefit of the doubt and give them 4 points.

We Like 'Em Young, 99 Problems But A Pitch Ain't One, Lick My Wet Cleat and Looking to Score all had a great showing so they get 10 points.

I spotted Quit Yer Pitching rocking on the Karaoke Stage in full Mardis Gras gear so they get 15.

Who's Got Asstastic Balls were the bar rock stars for the night so they get 20 points.

Of course these points are given in a completely arbitrary and nonsensical basis and should not be taken seriously but the more points your team earns the cooler you are for sure. Eventually, I might learn to add and we can start tallying a season total or maybe I can just make up those numbers too.

Week 2 Recap

Week 2 is done. After 2 nights of play we are starting to see some interesting things shape up. It was a Mardis Gras theme but sorry guys, it was too cold for the girls to flash.

We started the night out with Suck My Kick taking on Don't Go Chasing Waterballs on field A. This game started off being pretty heated, in fact the hostilities just after the chug-off. Hostilities continued and I am told that despite the fact that Sleeves went 2 for 2 he was so fired up that he killed a hooker on his way to second base. He must have cleaned up the mess pretty well because there was no evidence by the time I got over there. The big issue in this game though was the reffing at home plate though its unclear who that actually was because in all of Suck My Kick's complaining about the home plate ref, their description of said referee did not match anyone who was at the game. Rumor has it that SMK pre-gamed with some absinthe and they were quite upset with the Green Fairy who was making bad calls behind home plate. The game ended in a 1-1 tie.

Field B had a better reffing situation as 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One took on I'd Kick That. 99 Problems led the charge with some aggressive baserunning, not to say that it was perfect. In the first inning they scored 2 while getting 2 out on a bizarre bases loaded play. In the 5th inning Will sort of kind of attempted to go to second on an overthrow at first base but then changed his mind half way there after he realized he's not nearly as fast as he looks and had to dive head first back into first base, by some miracle he was safe. So essentially he had to embarrass himself in order to avoid embarrassment. Good Show Will! 99 Problems But A Pitch Ain't One won 5-1.

On Field C we had Who's Got Asstastic Balls and Looking to Score. First of all, Looking To Score may have the best chugger ever. I'm trying to get video sent of his performance last night because its pretty fucking impressive. Remember Red from the Man Show? He's pretty close. Anyways things looked pretty bad for Who's Got Asstastic Balls when Looking to Score's Jillian did somersaults all the way from 1st to 2nd and was still able to make it to base safely. The real craziness came in the 5th inning. Let me explain the scenario, Who's Got Asstastic Balls was down but threatening to come back. With 2 outs they had runners on 2nd and 3rd with the Beast up (if you don't know the Beast yet, you will by the end of the season). The Beast kicks a little pop up between the pitcher and catcher. Rather than run to first, the Beast decided to charge the mound screaming, trying to intimidate the pitcher. It worked as the pitcher didn't make the catch, however the Beast was no way out of the baseline and was easily put out to end the game. Looking to Score won 5-2

At 8pm we saw the Seminoles and We've Got The Runs. The Seminoles beat up on someone again, what a surprise. It got so bad that We've Got The Runs no longer wanted to kick when it was their turn. Overheard on the Seminoles' sideline: "Once again, another team hates us". Seminoles won 10-0.

Lick My Wet Cleat faced off against We Like 'Em Young on field B. This game was pretty tightly contested but Lick My Wet Cleat was pretty confident. How confident you ask? Well confident enough that the lovely Megan decided to take a break halfway through the game to powder her nose just before it was her turn to kick. Everyone had to wait for her to return to resume the game. There was an odd incident in the late innings of the game as Lindsay was running to first base and completely wiped out on her way there, as if she had been picked off by that crazy sniper squirrel that has been known to roam throughout the trees surrounding the PAL fields. The good news is that Lindsay is ok. The bad news is that the crazy sniper squirrel is still at large. Lick My Wet Cleat won a close one 2-0.

Last but not least, Quit Yer Pitchin took on Cleats and Cleavage on Field C. There wasn't a whole lot that was bloggable about this game, other than John, our player profile from last week, decided to attempt to do himself bodily harm by completely unnecessarily dive, no flop, headfirst into home in the first inning. Quit Yer Pitchin, helped by their purple shirts, did represent the Mardi Gras theme very well and represented themselves on the field even better. Quit Yer Pitchin won 4-0.

Mardi Gras Theme

Theme games can be a lot of fun when everyone gets dressed up to play kickball. Be sure to check the division calendar for the theme each week. If you have a great idea for a theme, send it over.

For week 2 we will be having a Mardi Gras theme. Did you really think there was the possibility of having a different theme? So come out with your masks, your beads and your king cakes and lets celebrate and laissez les bon temps rouler.

Flip Cup at MacDinton's

MacDinton's is hosting a Flip Cup event on Saturday Feb 20th. This isn't a WAKA sponsored event but I think we all know who the best flip cup players are so lets get some people out there to show everyone what kickballers can do on the flip cup table.

Saturday, February 20
3:00PM to 8:00PM

Flip Cup Tournament

Everyone's favorite beer game goes to new levels as MacDinton's and Flipcups.com team up for a competitive afternoon.

Free Beer for each game

Five member teams at $75 per team

Prizes for 1st and 2nd Place

Giveaways all day including a prize for best dressed team

Drink specials and more

Play starts at 3pm- Please arrive an hour early

To register please contact Chris Sweeney - 813-251-8999 or sweeney@macdintons.com

Why did you sign up for kickball?

What was your favorite part of Week 1?

Week 1 Player Profile

Marshall. John Marshall.

That was how he introduced himself to me. Not in a high end lounge, donned in the requisite tuxedo, grasping a shaken martini, but on the first base line of the PAL fields, wearing a purple WAKA shirt and swigging an adult sports beverage out of an oversized tumbler. Who was this man of mystery?

He gave me a quick rundown: USF grad. Second season playing WAKA. Still hasn't seen "Avatar."

Sure, sure. A likely story, I thought. But something seemed awry. I pressed him for details.

"What do you do?"

A long pause.

"I handle... logistics... for Latin American businesses."

My curiosity was piqued. International intrigue? Now we're getting somewhere. Logistics? What did that mean? Translating? Hacking governmental Web sites? Deciding where to bury bodies?

"I'm a huge Yankees fan," he confessed.

"Oh," I responded. "Are you from New York?"

"No," he answered.

Aha! A tell! His story wasn't adding up. But I soon remembered that, for all their fanaticism, 90% of Yankees fans have never set foot in the city. I was grasping at straws. How do I penetrate this wall he hides behind? Then he admitted...

"I wear a mask."

"Do tell," I prodded.

"Well, I used to. People don't know the real me. They don't see the real me."

"Why do you wear the mask, John. WHY?"

"I have to. People expect it. But it's suffocating. The pressure... and the heat."

"Yes, I'm sure it- wait. The heat?"

"God, yes. The heat, the horns, the hair. Being Rocky the Bull was tough work."

So there you have it. Marshall. John Marshall. Former Rocky the Bull mascot. Current catcher for Quit Yer Pitchin'. And yes, ladies - he's single. Welcome back, everyone!

Bar Results

So MacDinton's was hopping in week one. We had an incredible crowd and I hope we can keep it up all season long. We are going to start keeping track of how teams do in their bar attendance and I will be awarding points in a completely arbitrary manner so that we can very unscientifically determine who the coolest team at the bar is.

Most of the teams had a pretty good showing at the bar, hell, even the Seminoles showed up to be social with the rest of the division so most teams will get 5 bar points this week.

Cleats and Clevage had a tough hill to climb but Jacqueline did a great job and really rallied the troops despite the fact that the team felt abandoned because Mike and Rachel decided to go on a date to see a musical rather than play kickball. Their utter lameness earns them only 3 bar points this week.

Quit Yer Pitchin and Who's Got Asstastic Balls also had an excellent showing at the bar. Meanwhile, my favorite threesome in all of kickball (the beautiful combination of Megan, Jeni and Kacie) represented their new team, Lick My Wet Cleat, like rockstars on the flip cup table. Each of those teams gets 10 points this week.

We've Got The Runs captain, Michelle, got up on stage to sing karaoke and perform I Wanna Sex You Up. Actually she didn't sing, the singing was done by her new recruit teammate (someone tell me what his name is), who actually did a really good job, while Michelle was just being pretty and acting like she wanted to be sexed up. They get 15 points this week.

99 Problems But A Pitch Ain't One had their entire team at the bar, except for the Blue Shoed Wonder who went home early, depressed at his poor performance during the game. It was also Heide's Birthday so she wore a Tiara all night and the former Marines on the team (Brandon and Tim) came up with the idea that for the rest of the season, if anyone makes a bad play in a game, after the play is over, that person has to drop and do 5 push-ups. Semper Fi, Marines. The Blue Shoed Wonder immediately went onto www.kickball.com's store to order himself a smaller t-shirt that he will need after losing weight by the end of the season from excessive push-ups. They get 20 points this week for having everyone at the bar.

Now on to the bad news. Not one player from Suck My Kick was seen at the bar. Next week, be sure to boo them incessantly for their failure to socialize after the game. They wear the Forest Green t-shirts. They get -10 points.

And just in case you don't remember that song:

To the uh... tick tock ya don't stop.

Week 1 Recap

We had our first action of the season and things are looking promising. We had a lot of new faces, old faces on new teams, old teams in new colors and then we had the Seminoles. So lets get to the action.

In our first game on field A Quit Yer Pitchin (a team that once came over from that other kickball league in town) took on Don't Go Chasing Waterballs (the newest defectors from that other league). There was a pivotal play in the middle of the game where an ball was picked up on the sideline by a DGCW player who was on the bench and threw the ball back into play. That interference resulted in Quit Yer Pitching advancing all baserunners and scored a run. They told me later in the game that they actually won the game (that is up until the bottom of the 5th inning with 2 outs) That's when Don't Go Chasing Waterballs put together a late rally and a walk off win. Don't Go Chasing Waterballs won 2-1.

On Field B the Seminoles took on I'd Kick That. Took it to them is more accurate. There really isn't much to say about this game other than the Seminoles looked really good and I'd Kick That looked really really really ridiculously bad. The Seminoles won 14-0.

Field C saw the game of the week between We've Got The Runs and We Like 'Em Young. Besides these two teams having an overabundance of players in the medical profession, there was also plenty of scoring on both sides. We Like 'Em Young got off to a great start and went into the 5th with a 5-2 lead but We've Got The Runs were able to put together an amazing 5 run rally in the top of the 5th and held their defense together in the bottom half of the inning for the stunning come from behind victory. We've Got The Runs won 7-5.

The late game on Field A was a pretty lopsided affair. 99 Problems But A Pitch Ain't One has a few players from last season's Raging Balls (also known as the worst team to ever play kickball, see the division history for a quick recap) and many were looking for their first ever kickball victory. Fire was definitely in their eyes as they scored 11 runs in just 2 innings against Cleats and Cleavage. The play of the game actually came after a grand slam. With bases loaded, Chad kicked a ball down the third base line that Cleats and Cleavage had some trouble fielding which resulted in all players scoring, only to have the play reversed because Chad kicked the ball from behind the back cones of the kicking box (that's a foul ball folks, look it up in the rule book). On the next pitch, Chad blasted the ball deep to left and hit the top of the fence and landing back in play. It resulted in a 2 run double and a popped kickball. Not everything went well for 99 Problems though, despite having a number in their team name, they can't count. At no point in the game did they ever take the field with enough players in the game, except for the 5th inning and even then they had too many guys and not enough girls. How bad was the counting? Well on the sidelines during the game the team cheer was discussed with a very incorrect, "I've got 98 Problems... But a Pitch Ain't One!". 99 Problems won 12-2

Field B saw the Dirty Sexual Reference Bowl as Looking to Score took on Lick My Wet Cleat. I was told that there wasn't much of anything interesting going on in this game, other than Eli taking a nice rolling header on his way to first base. Congratulations go to more former Raging Balls players who celebrated their first victory in this game too. Lick My Wet Cleat won 4-2.

Suck My Kick took on Who's Got Asstastic Balls at 8pm on field C. From what I'm told, it was not the best of showings for WGAB as Rob missed an easy ball in the outfield and Pablo fell down at every base. It's pretty amazing that Suck My Kick didn't win by more. Suck my Kick won 4-2.

Winter 2010 Season

Well the Winter 2010 season is underway now. That means that its time to update the blog with some relevant and not so relevant completely factual or completely made up stories. Be sure to check back every week for the latest and greatest news in the division. If you would like to contribute to the blog, just let me know and we will set you up. Of course if you don't want to write anything but know of something that might be cool on the blog just send that over too.