Jeni = Sexy Bitch

Yeah she's a sexy bitch and she's pretty F'ing good at flip cup too.
Sorry for the dark video but this was taken with my cell phone and it is rather dark at MacDinton's at night.

Extra Weeks

Here is the schedule so far for the extra weeks. There is still quite a bit to be filled in here so I need the teams to contact me with who they want to play. If you see a question mark next to your team name that means the other team challenged you but your team has not responded yet.

These will be fun weeks that don't count in the standings so feel free to have some fun with it. Maybe play Kansas City Rules, Run the Bases backwards or instead of assigning positions in the field just have everyone pick a position out of a hat.

I will try to get this updated as quickly as possible but the schedule should not be considered final until all ?'s are removed. Be sure to check back later.

Week 8 - Superhero Theme

Should Looking to Score and Lick My Wet Cleat have agreed to play extra innings?

Week 7 Recap

Lets just get right to the action.

Looking to Score and 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One got things started with the camo theme. Actually the theme more ended up being Army vs Marines as both teams were represented by members of those branches of service. Looking to Score represented the Army and 99 Problems represented the Marines. The game was pretty tight and after 5 innings the score was tied 2-2. True to form, the Marines wanted to keep fighting and play in extra innings. Unfortunately, the Army, represented by Looking to Score was scared and turned tail in full retreat, deciding rather to end the game in a 2-2 tie. A little disclaimer here that my father was a Marine so I might be slightly biased. Semper Fi 99 Problems, Semper Fi.

Field B had Don't go Chasing Waterballs and We've Got The Runs. They certainly did have the runs in this game with lots of scoring from both teams. What was the key? I guess the teams figured out how to kick the ball on the ground. The big difference in this game was that Bruno had a hug fest and hugged/molested people at each base as he ran the bases, preventing them from fielding the ball. Don't Go Chasing Waterballs won this one 6-4.

Lick My Wet Cleat and Who's got Asstastic Balls took to field C. This could have been one for the ages, a bit of a David vs Goliath. David and Goliath were tied at 4 after 5 innings. Goliath decided to take a lead from the Army and settled for the tie rather than play an extra inning. Apparently Lick My Wet Cleat was pretty intimidated by the league's last place team. Or maybe they were intimidated by the possibility receiving a second loss in a row after their loss to 99 Problems last week. This game tied 4-4.

The second game on Field A was I'd Kick That vs Cleats and Cleavage. It wasn't a good night for Cleats and Cleavage captain, Mike, thanks to Lindsey. First Lindsey beat him in the chug off, then she got him out in the first, then kicked the ball right over him in the second. At least mike was able to strike someone out. Yes folks, it is possible to strike out in kickball. There was also some incident with a spilled beer that went flying and hit a ref who was busy holding his beverage in one hand and texting with the other. I guess it was one of those things you had to be there for but Jessica thought it was pretty funny because she was laughing hysterically while telling me the story and I had pretty much no idea what she was talking about. After 5 innings, the score was tied 1-1. Not wanting to be like Lick My Wet Cleat or Looking to Score, both teams decided to play an extra inning. Cindy lead off with a walk and eventually scored the winning run for I'd Kick That. Final score, 2-1.

We Like Em Young and Suck My Kick took to field B. According to Suck My Kick, nothing happened in this game, except that Wesley pitched a no hitter. Suck My Kick won 1-0. Suck My kick is looking forward to next week's game against the Seminoles to determine who is the regular season champs. They expect the game to be "a one way ticket to pound town". Interpret that however you wish.

The last game of the night had the Seminoles take on Quit Yer Pitchin. The Seminoles did not look particularly sharp in this one, especially on the bases where they made several baserunning errors. Fortunately for them, Quit Yer Pitching was about as sharp as the back edge of a butter knife and made several bobbles in the field. The Seminoles won 5-1.

Crystal Pitcher

Ok so by this time you have probably figured out that kickball is the coolest thing ever. You've probably also figured out that there are some teams that are slightly cooler than others. Well that's why we have the Crystal Pitcher Award. The Crystal Pitcher is probably the most coveted award in the division. Who cares about coming in first place? The Crystal Pitcher is awarded to the team that is the most fun to play, most spirited and shows the best sportsmanship throughout the season as voted by the you, the players, during the playoffs.

Here is the thing, the ballots don't have team colors on them, just team names (since in order to fit the colors on the ballot I would need to use about a 2 font since everyone loves those long damn team names). So if you don't know the names of teams, take a look at the standings and you can figure out who is who.

You can view the division history to see who has won it in the past. By the way, Who's got Asstastic Balls is the latest incarnation of the Id Hit That, Id Hit it Again, I already Hit That Crystal Pitcher Dynasty.

This season we decided to also offer another award. It is the opposite of the Crystal Pitcher in every way. It will be awarded to the team that is the least fun to play, is the biggest pain to deal with and shows the least sportsmanship. this will also not be democratic and will simply be awarded to the team that has the most complaints about them. The award will be called the Seminole Award, in honor of a lifetime achievement by the Seminoles for having other teams hate them. Of course, since the award is named after them they are favorites to win but Suck My Kick is also in the running.

What is the prize for these awards? Crystal Pitcher Winners get the pride of knowing they are loved by all and a beer pitcher. Seminole Award winners get nothing and only shame to comfort themselves.

Week 7 Theme - Camo

99 Problems But a Pitch Ain't One's guys are constantly falling down. The Blue Shoed Wonder always finds a way to end up on his back and Will is always dropping to his knees. Ok so I can tell that your mind is wandering into the gutter right now but there is a good reason for all of this falling and it has to do with that pesky Sniper Squirrel hiding in the bushes at the PAL fields. We've decided to honor the Sniper Squirrel by making week 7 a Camouflage theme. Just don't expect the game recap for next week to have much information in it. If I can't see you I can't write about you.

What is the most exciting news of week 6?

Midseason Party - Free Beer

Mark it on your calendars folks. We will be having our Mid Season Party on Saturday March 27th from 7pm to 10pm at Wings Gone Wild at 3114 Bay to Bay Blvd. We've got free beer, some food, free beer. Lots of fun people to hang out with and Free Beer. There really is no excuse for not coming. Free Beer.

Week 6 Recap

Well it only took us 6 weeks but every team now has at least one win. The last team to put a notch in the W column did it some real amazing fashion this week. More on that later. Let's hop right into the action.

Cleats and Cleavage took on the Seminoles. Easy win for the Seminoles right? Not so fast. The Seminoles, normally a run scoring machine, were shut down, 1-2-3 in the first inning. It was the worst inning the Seminoles ever had and it set the tone for the whole game. The game only took 30 minutes to complete and after the game the Seminoles played the role of gracious losers by congratulating Cleats and Cleavage for beating their "B" squad. In the words of Donald Rumsfeld, "“You play kickball with the team you have, not the team you might want or wish to have at a later time.” Overheard on the Seminoles sideline after the game, "That was f***ing embarrassing." Yes, yes it was. Cleats and Cleavage won 3-1.

Suck My Kick and Looking to score faced off on Field B. When I asked how this game, Looking to Score claimed that it was a tie, technically. When I asked what that meant, they said that they won the chugg off but Suck My Kick won the game. Unfortunately, it doesn't really work like that. There were 2 things to note from the game. Number one, the refs weren't paying much attention as they were distracted by the Seminole's loss on the next field over. The second, Kim on Looking to Score was accidentally tripped at first base. She landed on her boob and claimed that it burst and then got felt up by everyone after she got up, trying to help her out. By the way guys, according to Kim, they are real. Suck My Kick won 5-0.

Lick My Wet Cleat and 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One were poised to face off in an epic showdown on field C. This was a pretty intense matchup, not just because both teams are pretty good this season, but because 99 Problem's guys were pretty nervous about the game. Here is the back story: Once upon last season, there was this team, and they were bad. They were called Raging Balls and they lost every game in grand fashion. They were pretty much the worst kickball team to ever step foot on a kickball field but they were at least a really cool group of very sexy people. After last season was over, the team went 4 different ways. Some players never came back, only to fade into obscurity. A few players went on to join I'd Kick That. A pretty good sized group went on to help create 99 Problems But a Pitch Ain't One and my favorite threesome in kickball (the trio of Jeni, Kacie and Megan) joined Lick My Wet Cleat. Beautiful as they may be, the trio is notorious for their trash talking so even though 99 Problem's guys were confident they could win, they were scared to death of the possibility of losing since they would probably never hear the end of it. Crisis averted, partially thanks to Natalie who had her best game ever. In 5 seasons she had never caught a ball but was able to make a great catch in a key moment of the game. 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One won 3-1.

The late game on Field A saw Who's Got Asstastic Balls and We've Got The Runs. This game was pretty intense and took 7 innings to settle. We've Got The Runs showed up expecting a win since WGAB hadn't won a game all season. What they didn't expect was that week 6 was the first week for the Three Horsemen. Who are they 3 Horsemen? Well they are crazy. Basically these guys go around the country and join random kickball teams and piss excellence wherever they choose to go. They were all over the place and now WGAB expects themselves to be a playoff favorite. Erik better hope that the 3 Horsemen don't decide to piss their excellence elsewhere before the playoffs arrive. At the bar their intensity continued when Horseman #2 did a great Vanilla Ice performance for Karaoke. Who's Got Asstastic Balls won 2-1 after 7 innings.

We Like Em Young played Quit Yer Pitchin. What happened in this game? Well according to Quit Yer Pitchin the refs were a bit confused and couldn't make up their mind about calls. They kept on overruling each other. What they finally ended up deciding on was that Quit Yer Pitchin lost. We Like Em Young won 2 to 1.

Last but not least we had Id Kick That and Don't Go Chasing Waterballs. Things started off with a bang for Id Kick That as they were able to put up a 3 spot in the first inning. In the 4th the boys and girls in navy blue (mostly the boys) decided to start running into each other and allowing 3 runs to score. On an interesting play, Don't Go Chasing Waterballs sent a runner home from third. Id Kick That's pitcher threw the ball and tried to get the runner out by throwing the ball through his own catcher. That strategy didn't really work too well. After 5 innings the score was tied. With plenty of time left the teams decided to play another inning and decided that if the score was still tied after that inning then they would play another inning using Kansas City Rules*. I was pretty excited to watch Kansas City rules but unfortunately Id Kick That scored on a great play in the bottom of the 6th with 2 outs. Luckily the teams decided to play an extra inning Kansas City style anyways just for fun. Id Kick That won 4-3.

*Kansas City Rules: Rules that are used in extra innings in tournament play according to the WAKA Division Tournament Guidelines.
In the event of a tie score after 5 innings, extra full innings shall commence until a winner is determined or
until the allotted time expires. Each extra inning should be played with these modifications:
· Place the last kicker (1) from the previous inning on second base
· Only 8 players on the field for the defense – 4 of each sex
· All kickers start with an unmodified count (0 balls, 0 strikes, 0 fouls)

Random Polls

Oh how I love random polls. Especially ones that don't mean anything at all. Unfortunately I've been pretty busy lately and haven't had the chance to put a whole lot up on the blog lately so I figured, while I have some time tonight, I would put a few up to make up for lost time. Enjoy.

What is the square root of infinity?

What would you do if I sang out of tune?

Who's Got Asstastic Balls?

How do you vote?

Clean Shaven?

No not that. No not that either. You people have dirty minds. I'm talking about Erik's big old ugly head. He's decided to shave it. Not just to look cool either. He's doing it for a really good cause. www.stbaldricks.org.

"You heard it right - I'm shaving my head in solidarity with children who have cancer and typically lose their hair during treatment, while raising critical funds for childhood cancer research!

In the US, more children die of childhood cancer than any other disease. Please make a donation on my behalf to support childhood cancer research so that all children diagnosed with cancer will have a better chance for a cure.

To make a donation, click on "Make A Donation" or donate by mail or phone.
Thank you for your support!" - Erik

You just have to go to the link and that should bring you to Erik Chamber's page and decide whether you want to donate or if you want to be a jerk who is mean to children with cancer. So which will it be? You Decide.

Week five Player Profile - Looking to Score

Everybody, this is Jaime. No, not Jaime. Jaime. Like Jamie. But not. Are we good? Okay.

Jaime is the de facto captain of Looking to Score, which is currently 1-3-1. So… they might want to change their name to “Looking Into the Possibility of Maybe Scoring, If That’s Okay.” Looking to Score does boast the division’s best belcher and chugger, though, surprisingly, they are not the same person.

Jaime touts LTS’s status as the loveable losers – everyone seems to enjoy playing them because they’re “just retarded.” (I’d worry about a possible politically-correct backlash for that statement, but I’m fully aware no one really reads this blog.)

According to Jaime, she “used to be a girl” – a USF Sun Doll and Tampa Bay Storm Cheerleader. Seeing as this is a coed league with requirements regarding minimum number of female players, I’m surprised that no one’s taken her to task. But then I see their record and realize it probably doesn’t matter.

Jaime now spends her non-WAKA time as a Captain in the Florida National Guard. She’s been stationed in Honduras, Iraq, Uzbekistan, Afghanistan, and probably some more places that you’d never read about in Budget Travel. Jaime excelled in covert training in these war zones, partially due to her depth of knowledge regarding insurgencies. After all, she led members of her old team to defect this season and start anew. Jaime has no regrets, as she retained custody of the best flip-cuppers and karaoke singers.

Jaime refuses to take kickball too seriously – she’s seen far worse than a lopsided Seminoles win. While stationed in Afghanistan (in an area known as “Mortaritaville”) she and her bunkmates were sound asleep when a round hit their tent and the airwave blew them all out of their cots. And you thought you had stress at work?

Jaime is, however, not perfect: She’s “newly” not single. But who’s to say how solid that is – she hasn’t even changed her Facebook status to “In a Relationship.” So if you think you can give her a better story with regards to being blown away in bed, check her out on the royal blue team.

Week 6 Theme

OK Folks, well we didn't have a theme in week 5 so in week 6 we will have 2 themes. So take your pick as to which one you want to celebrate or combine the two. Our 2 themes for Week 6 are Birthday and St Patrick's Day. St Patrick's Day is pretty easy to figure out since that's the day after kickball. Birthday is because Monday is Ty's birthday. That's right, I'm having a kickball birthday party and you are all invited. First we will go to the PAL fields and play this really awesome kids game then go to MacDinton's and drink. Sounds like a hell of a party right? I hope you can all make it.

Week 5 Recap

Holy Crap! Can you believe we've got 5 weeks in the books already? We don't have a whole lot left of the regular season. All we have left is 3 weeks of the regular season 2 weeks of extra weeks where you play whoever the hell you want, a mid season party on Mar 27th at Wings Gone Wild (oops did I let that slip?) playoffs and an end of season party. Now that I think of it, we have quite a bit left. Anyways, lets get to the action.

The early game on Field A has Who's got Asstastic Balls against I'd Kick That. WGAB were showing off the power stroke, knocking outfielders down with their balls. Unfortunately, it didn't amount to much and it definitely didn't counter their awful defense. Actually, it wasn't even WGAB's defense, it was Erik's, who pretty much set the record for most unforced errors ever committed in a game. At one point, Erik tried throwing the ball to get a runner out but he threw it underhand and it went way over the runner's head. Another attempt to throw someone out resulted in Erik pegging his own player. We will never know if I'd Kick That actually played a good game or if they just capitalized on the poor play of the other team. Either way, I'd Kick That won 5-1.

By the way, I looked it up and it turns out WGAB is a Christian radio station in Newburgh, Indiana. 1180AM baby. They are a division of Faith Broadcasting - Music you can trust, because you know, you just can't trust most music these days. I dare someone to call the radio station and get on the air and yell "Who's Got Asstastic Balls".

Quit Yer Pitchin took on Looking to Score on field B. Quit Yer Pitchin did an awful lot of running around the bases this game. Maybe next week they should work on how to tie a shoe. Courtney had a nice scrape on her knee from falling on her way to first and Sean tripped over home plate while scoring. Quiy Yer Pitchin won 10-2.

Lick My Wet Cleat and We've Got The Runs took to field C in the early timeslot. We've Got The Runs were feeling pretty good about their fluke win last week and were hoping to be victorious again this week when Lick My Wet Cleat showed up with only 4 guys and a full roster of girls. So much for that idea. The Lick My Wet Cleat Girls kicked some serious ass. All of the guys from the team who did not show up this week will now be benched for the rest of the season. Lick My Wet Cleat won 7-0.

We Like 'Em Young faced off against Cleats and Cleavage in one of the tightest games this season. This game was extremely close and either team could have won. Five innings weren't enough to settle this game, 6 weren't either. In the bottom of the 7th inning, Cleats and Cleavage were able to get a runner to third with no outs. The next kicker just tried to kick the ball as far as he could and popped out to center field, allowing the runner from third base to score easily on the tag up and win the game in walk-off fashion. Cleats and Cleavage won 2-1.

Suck My Kick vs 99 Problems But A Pitch Ain't One was possibly the matchup of the week and the teams did not disappoint. Both teams threatened at many points in the game, putting runners in scoring position and in one case 99 Problems even loaded the bases but in every rally, the defense clamped down to extinguish the fire. The score was tied at 0 until the bottom of the 4th inning when Suck My Kick was finally able to score 2 and hold on to win the game 2-0.

There was a whole lot of yellow on Field C as the Seminoles faced off against Don't Go Chasing Waterballs. There was some major news that was made in this game. That's right folks, the Seminole's dominance is over. Don't Go Chasing Waterballs were able to put a hold on that powerful Seminole offense and limited the Seminoles to only winning 4-0.

Week 4 Recap

Ahh week 4 is done. It was supposed to be Toga night but we picked the windiest night of the year so far for Toga night. Considering the high likely hood of togas blowing around the field, and some possible unfortunate incidents involving people wearing their togas "correctly", it is probably best that the them wasn't really followed by more than just the die-hard few.

On Field A we saw 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One against We've Got The Runs. Lets not talk too much about this game. 99 Problems had 99 excuses but the fact of the matter was that they just played like crap and were outplayed. The new team name is 99 Problems And Week 4 Is One. We've Got The Runs won 1-0.

Cleats and Cleavage and Looking To Score matched up on field B. OK so Looking to Score doesn't only have just the best chugger in the league but also the league's most impressive belcher. Now you might be thinking that this picture is some sort of error on my part. Make no mistake, this cute little thing can belch with the best of them and is quite proud of the fact that she can burp the alphabet. Apparently the chugging and the belching helped give Looking To Score the Boost that they needed as they were able to mount a 2 out, last inning rally to tie the score at 3.

Quit Yer Pitchin was hoping to bounce back this week against Suck My Kick. Unfortunately Suck My Kick had other plans. I asked Quit Yer Pitchin about the game after it was over and they just said they didn't want to talk about it. Suck My Kick opened up a whole big can of whoop ass and won 12-0.

Back on Field A we had Don't Go Chasing Waterballs and We Like 'Em Young. I am told that absolutely nothing interesting happened in this game at all. We Like 'Em Young won 3-0.

Who's Got Asstastic Balls and the Seminoles took the field against each other on field B at 8pm. Erik, who's job it is to come up with the themes each week did not wear a toga on his toga night because he couldn't find a sheet that was big enough to wrap around him. At least that's what his teammates told me, I'm not sure if I believe that. The big news here is that for the first time this season someone was able to keep the Seminoles from scoring double digits. Seminoles won 9-0.

Last but not least we had Lick My Wet Cleat and I'd Kick That on field C. I'd Kick That were looking to extend their winning ways but were up against a wall going into the last inning down 2-0. They were able to score a run before any outs were recorded and even ended up with the bases loaded and no outs. Lick My Wet Cleat gathered at the pitchers mound to have an Under Armor style "We Must Protect This House" rally and found a way to stop the I'd Kick That attack. Lick My Wet Clear won 2-1.

What's up with the blog?

So you might be asking yourself, what's up with the blog lately? Its been pretty quiet. Well the answer could be that I've just been extremely busy lately and I just haven't had the time to write stuff for the blog. Of course the answer could also be that I'm just a colossal jerk. Either way, the good news is that I take notes every week. So your patience is rewarded as I will now give you the low down on week 4.

In the meantime, check this odd video out. To be honest, it doesn't really make me want to go to IHOP. Denny's anyone?

What's the reason for the slow week in blog?

Week Four - Fera from 99 Problems But a Pitch Ain't One

This is Mike Fera. But don't call him Mike. He won't answer to it. In fact, he won't answer to anything. He asks the questions, not you. Fera wasn’t born. Fera “just came into existence.” Most sentences involving Fera need only pair his name with a present-tense verb. But here are some interesting facts about this blue-shoed wonder:

Fera had the idea for “Avatar.” And “Dances with Wolves.” And “Last of the Mohicans.” Sense a trend here?

Every Wikipedia citation inevitably leads back to Fera.

Before meeting Fera, Neil Patrick Harris was straight.

They say you can’t choose your family, but Fera did.

Fera looked at the Large Hadron Collider and said, "You call that large?"

Fera once had a girlfriend for three months. Subsequently, his only shortcoming is that he’s unable to circumvent the witness protection program.

Fera came up with the idea for Scientology but mistakenly thought, “No one’s gonna buy this shit.”

Fera is suing Roget’s Thesaurus for not having his name as a synonym for ‘epic.’

Fera cannot stress this enough – keep the ball on the ground.

Fera is single. VERY single. So if you’re interested, ask Fera about his “Homeless Man’s Choice” date proposition. You won’t be disappointed. But you may end up incarcerated.